Rolz preparing to do some indoor salad bar grazing...

I don’t know about your house, but in ours, nothing is off limits and everything is an open invitation to our cats. An invitation to what you may ask? Well, for starters, unlimited physical destruction and incomprehensible behavior. Put a rug on the floor, it will either be shredded by claws or christened by pee. Buy a new leather chair, it will look like a yard sale giveaway by the end of the week. Attempt to decorate bookcases, shelves, and fireplace mantles… fine, if you’re willing to clean up the broken pieces an hour later.

Then, of course, there is the all you can eat salad bar. What? A salad bar in the house? Yes  – every fake fern, ficus plant, and floral arrangement we have placed about the house is fodder for our cats as delicious morsels of food to be ingested. Why cats, why? We yell at you to stop the indoor grazing, but all you do is ignore us to blissfully continue with the chewing, only to throw up these slimy pieces of fake greenery later on, on the rug you’ve already peed on. By now, isn’t it apparent that you are not really chewing on grass and that the plants you are eating are not real? Sigh…

You know me, I adore you and find you to be an extremely intelligent species of which I am overly compulsive about and completely addicted to. But, I’m sorry to say, the salad bar syndrome…. well, please forgive me, but it’s something a dog would do…

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Hope you enjoyed our “green” post today!

Advice from a feline diva princess

Because I am purr-fect and this has never happened to me, I had to go to my sources to help answer this common cat question that Kozmo the Norwegian Forest Cat from New Orleans sent to me. He writes:

Dear Mia:

Sometimes when I try to jump up onto the kitchen counter, the dining room table, or other high places, I don’t quite make it and fall spastically to the floor, which causes my humans to laugh at me, which I really don’t like. I also accidentally fall off the bed and other random places and even crash into walls and doors when I decide to run full speed ahead for no apparent reason whatsoever out of thin air. I can’t seem to stop myself from this happening and I really don’t like my humans having the upper paw over me. What do you do when this happens to you? Read more

This is me, Harley, sitting on, guess what… my couch!

As far as I’m concerned, way back when in 2004 when my human and her son came to the cat rescue shelter where I was living in to find the purr-fect kitten addition to their home, I quickly took matters into my own paws and chose them to be my forever family. I knew I had to make my first and only bold move – there were dozens of cats and kittens living with me – all ridiculously adorable and precious and equally worthy of a new family. How could they possibly make a rational decision without my help? So, I did what I had to – I literally jumped into human Mom’s arms and sealed the deal – she immediately fell for my ploy and instantly fell in love with me and my sweet little face. Minutes later, I found myself inside a cat carrier and for once, did not find it as a hated object associated with the evil vet, and off we went to my new home. That dear readers, is what I brilliantly called “Phase 1” of my well thought out plan to ultimately rule our household universe, or what I like to call it, our (my) couch. Read more

Callie taking residence in one of our outdoor garden statues

I thought seven cats was enough, but apparently eight is enough… We have occasional cat sightings in our yard which really is not a surprise – the cat pheromone level that our house gives off must be astounding, so I assume our house is irresistible to a wandering cat. But, we had one little visitor in particular – a pretty little calico – that has become more of a regular, to the point now, that it appears she is now a permanent backyard house guest, causing our seven indoor cats much turmoil indeed.

I have nicknamed her “Callie” and assume she is a female, as most calico’s by some weird quirk of genetics are, and as you can see from the above picture, she has decided our garden statue is the perfect visual spot to keep an eye out for tempting birds, squirrels, and lizards. Despite that we have been seeing her for several months now, she is still a very timid little girl and does not come when you call her, but her moves towards our house and her length of stay in our yard are becoming longer and bolder. Thankfully she lives on the same side of the street as us, a few doors down, so she does not have to cross the street to come find us.  Read more

TO:          The Cats – Jazz, Harley, Zee, Zoey, Mia, Peanut and Rolz 

FROM:    The Residing Human Tenants 

DATE:     February 26, 2011

REF:       Getting Under Foot

Dear Cats:

It’s your human tenants here (i.e., slaves) who just have the tiniest, itsy bitsy request of a favor from you, if you don’t mind. When we come in from outdoors – whether it be after a long and grueling day at work, or a quick trip to the grocery store – can you please refrain from standing by, and blocking the other side of the door, waiting for us to open it, rendering it virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get in the house without either worrying about one of you escaping to the outdoors, or stepping on you. Read more