Getting some holday help from the cats to untangle the lights!

As the holidays approach, I thought we’d take a sneak peak into one of my favorite chapters in Zee and Zoey’s book, called “Cattitude & Cattisms” which is a lighthearted and humorous look at the By-Laws that a cat uses to govern the humans of the household upon which they reside.

Basically, in a nutshell, “cattitude” is the unique behaviors and mannerism that are exhibited only by the feline species in the presence of human beings in a domestic setting and “cattisms” are the uncontrollable and neurotic habits or behaviors a human exhibits because he/she is obsessed with his/her cats. Here are a few that are geared exclusively for the holidays:

Cattitude Holiday Rule #1:  If your human is throwing a holiday dinner for lots of guests, it is mandatory to jump on dining room table, kitchen counter, or any other area where food preparation and eating by humans occurs. This embarrasses humans as they try to pretend this is the first time you have done this and scold you to get down. Lick stick of butter on counter before it makes it to dining room table. Casually jump on top of set table as if this is the most obvious thing to do. Yawn. Stretch. Then swish tail in the plate of as many dishes of food you can at one time for an added effect. Having an unexpected sneeze spasm at this time is also recommended.

Cattitude Holiday Rule #2:  Guests that are wearing fancy holiday clothing, especially ruby reds, emerald greens, and royal blues, should be rubbed upon by a lighter colored cat. Those wearing a whites and pastel outfits should be rubbed upon by a cat with darker fur. If the guest tries to politely shoo you away, be valiant and rub again. They will eventually give up in defeat, at which point your job is done and you can move on to stage “two” – ignoring guest who is true cat lover who has been trying to get your attention all night. Hold head high, act terrified and treat with aloof disdain.

Cattitude Holiday Rule #3:  Helping to wrap gifts is also a wonderful opportunity to bond with your human and help make a dreaded task go even slower and more awkwardly. Sure, wrapping paper is expensive. That’s why you want to  make sure to lie on top of it, protecting it from those scary scissors! And why not have a snack at the same time? Ingesting a string of ribbon always makes for a colorful and festive hairball to clean up by a tired and cranky human.

Cattism Holiday Rule #1:  All ornaments and holiday decorations must be cat related, regardless of how gaudy or out of place it looks.

Cattism Holiday Rule #2:   All holiday cards mailed out must have a picture of a cat wearing either a Santa Hat or Reindeer antlers.

Cattism Holiday Rule #3:   When watching football during the holiday season, the team you chose to win is determined by which team is named after a cat. If there are no cats playing, then the next determination would be a horse, then a bird. If no animal teams are playing, there is no point in watching the game and you just need to change the channel.

Hope you enjoyed these – I would love to hear from you if you would like to share some of your own holiday version “cattitudes & cattisms” from your household!