Advice from a feline diva princess

Because I am purr-fect and this has never happened to me, I had to go to my sources to help answer this common cat question that Kozmo the Norwegian Forest Cat from New Orleans sent to me. He writes:

Dear Mia:

Sometimes when I try to jump up onto the kitchen counter, the dining room table, or other high places, I don’t quite make it and fall spastically to the floor, which causes my humans to laugh at me, which I really don’t like. I also accidentally fall off the bed and other random places and even crash into walls and doors when I decide to run full speed ahead for no apparent reason whatsoever out of thin air. I can’t seem to stop myself from this happening and I really don’t like my humans having the upper paw over me. What do you do when this happens to you? Read more

This is me, Harley, sitting on, guess what… my couch!

As far as I’m concerned, way back when in 2004 when my human and her son came to the cat rescue shelter where I was living in to find the purr-fect kitten addition to their home, I quickly took matters into my own paws and chose them to be my forever family. I knew I had to make my first and only bold move – there were dozens of cats and kittens living with me – all ridiculously adorable and precious and equally worthy of a new family. How could they possibly make a rational decision without my help? So, I did what I had to – I literally jumped into human Mom’s arms and sealed the deal – she immediately fell for my ploy and instantly fell in love with me and my sweet little face. Minutes later, I found myself inside a cat carrier and for once, did not find it as a hated object associated with the evil vet, and off we went to my new home. That dear readers, is what I brilliantly called “Phase 1” of my well thought out plan to ultimately rule our household universe, or what I like to call it, our (my) couch. Read more

TO:          The Cats – Jazz, Harley, Zee, Zoey, Mia, Peanut and Rolz 

FROM:    The Residing Human Tenants 

DATE:     February 26, 2011

REF:       Getting Under Foot

Dear Cats:

It’s your human tenants here (i.e., slaves) who just have the tiniest, itsy bitsy request of a favor from you, if you don’t mind. When we come in from outdoors – whether it be after a long and grueling day at work, or a quick trip to the grocery store – can you please refrain from standing by, and blocking the other side of the door, waiting for us to open it, rendering it virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get in the house without either worrying about one of you escaping to the outdoors, or stepping on you. Read more

Advice for cats from a diva feline princess

Since Mia has already posted twice, she has deemed herself an accredited expert in all things cat related and is pleased to introduce a segment written exclusively by her as a service to all you cats in need of advice. She was tired of reading  endless articles from clueless humans who dare to think they understand the inner workings of a cat, so, she took it upon herself, despite her busy preening and napping schedule, to offer practical advice to cats that is actually from a cat. Entitled “Dear Mia,” she answers all the questions you cats direct to her with as much honesty and helpfulness as possible. However, because Mia is a bit stuck up and quite the little diva, this advice is only based on how she perceives life and might not actually offer you the guidance you really need. If you do not agree with her opinion, she will not care, because in her mind, she is ALWAYS right. If you want to contact Mia with any of your personal cat questions or concerns, please email her at info@zeezoey.com and she will do her best to post a reply to you. Maybe. If she’s in the mood…

Her first letter is ironically a question from her brother Rolz, as translated by her sister Peanut, because Rolz does not know how to write. It goes like this:

Dear Mia,

Our humans insist on rubbing my belly, causing me not only awkward displeasure, but it gives me a funny feeling that makes my body tense up and my legs react by rabbit kicking. Is it okay to bite my humans to make them stop?

Sincerely,

Rolz

Dear Rolz,

Yes, by all means, please feel free to bite your humans. Humans by nature are not always bright and often overlook the very obvious signs you are giving them to stop the uninvited behavior. One of two things will then happen. Your humans will either yell at you for biting or they will actually comprehend that you really DON’T like to have your belly rubbed. If they do yell at you, the next step is to leave an unexpected hair ball in a place certain to be stepped on by said humans as retaliation. They will never connect the dots but you will feel better for doing it.

Meows and hugs,

Mia

Mia daydreaming about snuggling on warm laundry…

Hi Everyone – Mia here! My Human Mom (HM) has been extra, super busy lately – she’s getting ready to go to a pet writing conference this weekend that is really, really important to her, so I thought I would give her a break and fill in for her since she seems to have all but abandoned the blog this past week. First of all, I know she would want me to thank all of you on her behalf for all the wonderful comments and feedback regarding our AWESOME book cover and sample chapter that you gave her! Don’t my Mama Zoey and Papa Zee look great on the cover? Now you can see why I’m so pretty! Read more