Being “Writer of the Year” Does NOT Get You Respect at the DMV and Why Cats are Lucky!
In case you were wondering, winning the title of “Writer of the Year” by Friskies/Purina does not garner you extra respect and special privileges from everyone as you might expect. This is especially true when it comes to my cats (to hear more about that, please stop by Catster to read my exclusive interview with some of the other award-winning ladies of the Cat Writer’s Conference where our cats tell us in no uncertain terms just what they think of the awards ) as well as the fun folks over at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV).
I should have known the instant I was called up to the front counter without waiting in line for two hours and was greeted by a very pleasant woman, that something would go horribly wrong. Who did I think I was? Nobody gets away with going to the DMV without incurring some sort of traumatic experience and I was about to pay dearly for thinking otherwise. Writer of the Year…. Hmmprf…
To quickly backtrack, somehow my drivers license had expired a couple of months ago without me realizing it. Call it being overly distracted by life, but once I realized it, I immediately set to renew it online and thought that would be the end of it. Nope. I guess when your license is expired you are instantly earmarked as someone who must suffer and pay dearly for your unintentional error. I had to schedule an appointment to renew my license in person. ***shudder***
The first available appointment was three weeks from the point I realized my mistake – I quickly booked it and planned to take a personal day off from work because one never knows just how long the wait will be and prayed in the meantime that I would not do anything that would warrant a pullover by law enforcement.
Sorry lady… Back home for you… We don’t care who you are and we don’t care if you think you brought the proper documents with you. Photo from Google images.
Well, the day of the appointment arrived and just to be safe, I armed myself with an arsenal of personal information to prove that I am who I am, even though my expired license shows an indisputable picture of me being me. Along with my expired license, I brought my social security card, my birth certificate, a payroll stub and several bills with my name and billing address on it. I got to the location with very little problem – traffic was light, I found the building right away, and, lo and behold, my name was called almost the moment I walked in the door. Clearly I was doomed…
Sure enough, because the name on my birth certificate was different from the name on my license and other documents, I might not be who I claimed to be, even though I had been driving in the state of Florida since 1994 with no previous problem renewing my license. The gall of me… a 53-year-old woman who had changed her name since the point of her birth. Um yeah, that’s what happens when you get married, which was a pretty standard thing to do years ago.
So, despite the fact I was Writer of the Year and me pointing out in a very calm and rational manner that this was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard – I mean seriously, I was incredulous – my social security card matched my license – why would I have to drive back home to get my marriage license, especially since I have been divorced for almost 10 years? Not to mention, after the divorce I had kept my married name rather reverting back to my maiden name which was not even my maiden name any more because I had a different last name than my birth last name because I had taken the last name of my step-father at the time. Sigh… confused yet?
Paperwork? You want paperwork? Fine. I can be snarky and overly dramatic as seen here with every bit of paperwork I could find to document who I was from birth to the point of standing in line at the DMV….
Well, long story short after the common sense route did not work, or crying, or a minor temper tantrum, I had to drive back home to get my marriage certificate. I will save you all the long rant and rave and my soapbox speech about the red tape of bureaucracy to let you know that 3 hours later, I now had a current drivers license. Voila! Just like that, easy-peasy! And what did I learn from all of this? I learned that cats are lucky that they don’t drive and that they don’t have to go to the DMV. When I left for my appointment, they were on the couch napping, when I got home, they were still on the same spot on the couch napping. It also got me to thinking of some other things that cats are lucky about. I hope you enjoy them – are there any things you can think of to add to my list?
As a rule I don’t let the cats drive. Although there was that one time Mia stole the neighbors car and got lost at the mall. Police were involved… Long story and hence the reason my cats will never have to go through the grueling ordeal of license renewal at the DMV.
Cats are lucky because they don’t have to do yard work….
…they just get to enjoy the outside!
Cats don’t have to clean windows or vacuum… instead, they get to watch birds outside the window and roll around on the floor…
Cats don’t have to make the bed or do laundry… Instead, they get to sleep on the bed and on top of clean laundry…
Cats are lucky because they don’t have to toil away at the computer… they just get to lounge on top of it and supervise!
Happy Caturday All! And in case you missed it, if you want to win a gourmet gift basket of goodies for your cat, courtesy of Hill’s Science Diet that includes a 2 pound bag of Hill’s Science Diet Adult Grain-Free dry food, a 6 can variety case of Hill’s Science Diet® wet food, a bag of Hill’s Science Diet Crunchy Creations Grain-Free with Chicken Treats, a cat bowl, and a place mat, all you need to do is click this link to leave a comment on our blog by midnight, EST, December 2nd. The contest is limited to the U.S. and you must leave your email address in the contact form or within the text of your comment to be eligible so that I can contact you for shipping details.
Back in my reporter days, I once wrote a column (okay, a rant) about my experience at the DMV that was not pleasant. Believe me, Deb, I really DO feel your pain!
Oh Deb I do LOVE the way you take an ordinary trip to the DMV and make it…”Extraordinary”!
I too made a trip to the DMV this week…..bor-ing!
Oh the silly humans, can’t even teach them to use sense that is common..sigh.
This hits too close to home. My husband’s license expired and he had issues so I checked mine and saw it expired in June. Left myself a reminder and everything, and I still missed it…
Cats really are the smart ones. Great story.
They have to justify their jobs, Deb! But at least you had the rest of the day to enjoy with your cats. I hope you took the opportunity to roll around on some fresh warm laundry.
In PA, they took a look at me years ago and couldn’t figure out I had gray eyes so my eye color says “unknown” despite all my efforts to change that. Lately I’ve been trying to discourage Mr. Sunshine from getting my keys and driving, with Bean riding shotgun, brother Giuseppe up the hill to Canada to see his love, Mlle. Daisy Emerald. They are sure no one would notice a magenta Ford Escort wagon with three black cats crossing the border. I tried to explain they don’t have passports but if authorities can’t tell I have gray eyes they just may not notice three black cats are driving a car!
lol, I had the same issue w my eye color. Ive looked at my own eyes for years and I say they are brown. Current DMV in my current city says they are hazel. They wanted to make an issue out of it. Really, what they should’ve made an issue out of, was going from color pics, to unsmiling black and white pics. They did this to prevent identity theft? Really? Before, only another redhead could’ve use my picture. now anyone can. Sheesh
Deb….you failed to mention that you were wearing cat ears and you were also completely decked out in leopard…who WOULDN’T question your identity? KIDDING!!!!!!! You walked right into that one girlfriend!
xoxoxoxo LOVE YOU!
Deb, you look a good 10-15 years younger than 53! All that feline energy has served you well!
LOVE Caren’s comment. I can just hear the DMV person, “Miss? You need to remove the ears.”
; ) GG
Well I guess MN is doing *something* right….the DMV is a breeze here.
M is laughing her head off cuz it could easily happen to her. She went to check her license right away to make sure it hasn’t expired and to put a note on her calendar as to when it does expire. Cats don’t have to do dishes either, they just lick them clean!
I never thought it would be possible to see the DMV and cats mentioned in the same post. Leave it to you, Deb! 🙂
You have my hugs and sympathies. This sounds way too familiar and can relate to life getting in the way. I recently went through a Draconian exercise with an expired Canadian passport..The lesson is: do not let anything expire and note to self: come back as a cat in the next life 😉
I feel for you. I hate going to the DMV. Not fun at all. That is too bad you had to go back home and come back. One time I was at one for 2 hrs waiting my turn and the computers went down. And they told us it could be another 2 hrs. I left as I couldn’t take it anymore. Wonderful giveaway. I won it on another blog and it’s really nice. Love seeing your beautiful kitties.
We had to laff at Ingrid’s post – MOL!!! Yes, we cats know how to do EVERYthing better!! ~Faraday
Bureaucrats with a little power are . . . a menace. Years ago, my great-uncle, granted a kinda wild and crazy guy, an alcoholic, and nothin’ but trouble, went to court because his birth certificate mistakenly said he was a girl. You’d think an unshaven, semi-seedy, minor league baseball umpire with alcohol on his breath wouldn’t have too much trouble getting that error corrected. But you would be WRONG! It turned into a months-long ordeal of paperwork and court appearances — which at least did not result in his going to the slammer, which some of his other court appearances did 😉
Oh my catness, Spitty! What a story…
In Jersey, we have 6 documents to bring to the DMV to get a new license and I imagine the same would be true if renewing an expired license. I can’t believe all you had to go through, though… Sometimes, I see the value of the safeguards. But you were the person ON THE PHOTO of the expired license. So really???
I feel your pain, sister.
Laura – I value safeguards as well and understand in this day and age that it is necessary, but in my case it really was absurd. The crazy part, if I were able to renew online, I would still be the same person and I would not have had to go through the ordeal… bizarre…
OMC, renewing a license in Florida practically requires a retina scan and DNA sample, doesn’t it? Florida DMV absolutely, positively believes that we have no insurance on the car, and no amount of documentation will convince them otherwise. Every time there is a drivers license renewal, car tag renewal, etc, it becomes a battle of the documentation, so we feel for you!
Thank you for your kind comment on our blog about our having to give Beau back to his foster home. The gentle words of so many of you in the blogosphere have meant so much during an emotionally fraught time.
Sometimes Cats Herd You – MOL!!! So funny! And you are welcome on the comment… hope you are doing okay…
I guess I should knock on wood but I’ve never had much trouble at the DMV. I always thought it was because I only have to go to Ames, 10 miles away and if I go during semester break all the students are gone and the population is cut in half. However, others around here tell stories of having to wait forever. I guess I’ve just been lucky. May it please continue!
I’d better go check my license now because my birthday is in December.
Yes, may your luck continue, Andrea!! Hope your license is not expiring soon!
We cats do not have to clean the pots and grinder after Dad makes Chick-Hen Cat food and our Treats. We just eat em.
We cats do not have to pay the ridiculous fees for access to the Cat-Blogosphere. We just have our servants pay and then write about how kyoot we are.
Now the Driving… No license but I am racing in the Cat Scouts Cardwood Derby! Yep. No license. Meow
Timmy
Oh!! Good luck in the derby, Timmy Tomcat! Sounds like fun!
guys…tell yur mom if it makes her feel any better…de Lord Jesus hiz self wood knot get any kinda speshull treetmintz at de Dee Emm Vee ……plus like de trash pick up veehickle in yur towne might wanna hurree up collect shunz a wee bit…thoz bagz been sittin at yur curb for a wee while now huh !! 🙂
MOL…. sounds like a funny skit on SNL da tabbies… de Lord Jesus waiting in line at the DMV and having to prove his identity!