In case you were wondering, winning the title of “Writer of the Year” by Friskies/Purina does not garner you extra respect and special privileges from everyone as you might expect. This is especially true when it comes to my cats (to hear more about that, please stop by Catster to read my exclusive interview with some of the other award-winning ladies of the Cat Writer’s Conference where our cats tell us in no uncertain terms just what they think of the awards ) as well as the fun folks over at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV).

I should have known the instant I was called up to the front counter without waiting in line for two hours and was greeted by a very pleasant woman, that something would go horribly wrong. Who did I think I was? Nobody gets away with going to the DMV without incurring some sort of traumatic experience and I was about to pay dearly for thinking otherwise. Writer of the Year…. Hmmprf…

To quickly backtrack, somehow my drivers license had expired a couple of months ago without me realizing it. Call it being overly distracted by life, but once I realized it, I immediately set to renew it online and thought that would be the end of it. Nope. I guess when your license is expired you are instantly earmarked as someone who must suffer and pay dearly for your unintentional error. I had to schedule an appointment to renew my license in person. ***shudder***

The first available appointment was three weeks from the point I realized my mistake – I quickly booked it and planned to take a personal day off from work because one never knows just how long the wait will be and prayed in the meantime that I would not do anything that would warrant a pullover by law enforcement.

Sorry lady… Back home for you… We don’t care who you are and we don’t care if you think you brought the proper documents with you. Photo from Google images.

Well, the day of the appointment arrived and just to be safe, I armed myself with an arsenal of personal information to prove that I am who I am, even though my expired license shows an indisputable picture of me being me. Along with my expired license, I brought my social security card, my birth certificate, a payroll stub and several bills with my name and billing address on it. I got to the location with very little problem – traffic was light, I found the building right away, and, lo and behold, my name was called almost the moment I walked in the door. Clearly I was doomed…

Sure enough, because the name on my birth certificate was different from the name on my license and other documents, I might not be who I claimed to be, even though I had been driving in the state of Florida since 1994 with no previous problem renewing my license. The gall of me… a 53-year-old woman who had changed her name since the point of her birth. Um yeah, that’s what happens when you get married, which was a pretty standard thing to do years ago.

So, despite the fact I was Writer of the Year and me pointing out in a very calm and rational manner that this was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard – I mean seriously, I was incredulous – my social security card matched my license – why would I have to drive back home to get my marriage license, especially since I have been divorced for almost 10 years? Not to mention, after the divorce I had kept my married name rather reverting back to my maiden name which was not even my maiden name any more because I had a different last name than my birth last name because I had taken the last name of my step-father at the time. Sigh… confused yet?

Paperwork? You want paperwork? Fine. I can be snarky and overly dramatic as seen here with every bit of paperwork I could find to document who I was from birth to the point of standing in line at the DMV….

Well, long story short after the common sense route did not work, or crying, or a minor temper tantrum, I had to drive back home to get my marriage certificate. I will save you all the long rant and rave and my soapbox speech about the red tape of bureaucracy to let you know that 3 hours later, I now had a current drivers license. Voila! Just like that, easy-peasy! And what did I learn from all of this? I learned that cats are lucky that they don’t drive and that they don’t have to go to the DMV. When I left for my appointment, they were on the couch napping, when I got home, they were still on the same spot on the couch napping. It also got me to thinking of some other things that cats are lucky about. I hope you enjoy them – are there any things you can think of to add to my list?

As a rule I don’t let the cats drive. Although there was that one time Mia stole the neighbors car and got lost at the mall. Police were involved… Long story and hence the reason my cats will never have to go through the grueling ordeal of license renewal at the DMV.

Cats are lucky because they don’t have to do yard work….

…they just get to enjoy the outside!

Cats don’t have to clean windows or vacuum… instead, they get to watch birds outside the window and roll around on the floor…

Cats don’t have to make the bed or do laundry… Instead, they get to sleep on the bed and on top of clean laundry…

Cats are lucky because they don’t have to toil away at the computer… they just get to lounge on top of it and supervise!

Happy Caturday All! And in case you missed it, if you want to win a gourmet gift basket of goodies for your cat, courtesy of Hill’s Science Diet that includes a 2 pound bag of Hill’s Science Diet Adult Grain-Free dry food, a 6 can variety case of Hill’s Science Diet® wet food, a bag of Hill’s Science Diet Crunchy Creations Grain-Free with Chicken Treats, a cat bowl, and a place mat, all you need to do is click this link to leave a comment on our blog by midnight, EST, December 2nd. The contest is limited to the U.S. and you must leave your email address in the contact form or within the text of your comment to be eligible so that I can contact you for shipping details.