You Can Pet Me, Just Don’t Touch Me – So Says the Cat
Zoey and her son, Rolz. This was back in 2009 – to this day, they continue to share a special bond.
There’s been a lot of sadness of late – cats being sick, cats unexpectedly leaving us, or remembering cats that left us in days, weeks, or years past. Through all the community conversation and support, one message rang that has rang loud and clear, is that we all love our cats and we all shower them with as many hugs, snuggles, and cuddles as we can on a daily basis.
That sounds well and good on paper, but for most of us that have cats, we also know despite how irresistible our furry babies are to us, sometimes they don’t always appreciate our loving advances. Some will tolerate it with the resignation of it being their lot in life for being so adorable. Some will react with such horror that you would think you are strangling them rather than hugging them, and some will play it up to the hilt and even come looking for love if they feel you aren’t giving them enough!
Kizmet is all like, yeah, I get it… it’s a photo op and I’m a good looking cat. Now hurry up with the camera and put me down…
With my cats, it’s a mixed bag for sure. When Jazz was still with us, he loved hugging and snuggling so much that he would actually stretch his paws up onto my legs, his way of asking me to pick him up, and I could cradle him like a baby all day long if I wanted to. When Harley was with us, she enjoyed being snuggled too and would have napped on top of my tummy 24/7 if I let her. Zee, not so much. When we first got him in 2005 as a kitten, Dan and I were both admittedly disappointed. We had wanted a big, lovable lap cat and he wanted none of it for years. He was more of the independent type and I told Dan to be patient. Sure enough, 9 years later, he is so bonded to us that he won’t let either one of us out of his sight. Literally. To the point I mean that I can’t even pee (pardon me for being so graphic) without him on my lap, because somehow that has become our “special time.” Why? I have no idea; all I know is that I will go into the bathroom – alone – and like some sort of magic trick, there he is, on my lap!
Our Zee has turned into quite the protective cat – he especially likes to hang out on the top of the sofa, as he can easily see where Dan and I are from there.
And my Zoey… my Zoey who I love dearly. I had to give her pills once, about a million years ago, so of course, if I even walk remotely past her, she’s all like “oh, there’s that crazy lady who won’t stop shoving pills down my throat” and she runs off. Zoey, I’m just getting up to get a glass of wine water – I’m not even trying to pet you, and trust me, I wouldn’t dare dream of hugging you. Cat contortionist that can twist her body into the shape of a pretzel. Small you might be, but I know better. If someone is deluded (or brave enough) to think hugging you is possible, then please, be my guest. Sigh. But, this is the same cat who, like clockwork, will settle into the crook of my legs when I watch TV at night. I sit down at 8:00 pm and she is on my legs at 8:01 pm. She stays there until I go to bed at 11:00 and I can pet her to my heart’s content.
Come to our house anytime after 8:00 pm and this is what you will see – me on the couch with Zoey on my legs. But dare to pick her up and hug her? Not a chance in heck…
Zoey is the same cat that will hold my lap hostage for hours when I am at the computer, rendering me helpless to get up. But try to pick her up for a hug and she will look at me like I am some sort of demon from Mars…
Peanut falls into the category of when she wants loving, she comes and gets it and there can never be too many hugs for her. Family, strangers, cat lovers, people who don’t like cats – she discriminates against no one when it comes to her need for loving.
She can actually get quite physical – from jumping on Dan’s shoulders to tapping my face with her paw to get my attention, and she is a love muffin through and through. But interestingly, she does not like to snuggle on the couch with the others and she rarely sleeps in the bed with us at night.
This is Peanut on a daily basis. Bless her soul – she is an absolute sweetheart! And trust me, she gets massive doses of loving and hugging from us every day!
Rolz will sleep with us on the bed and snuggle on the couch, but if you dare to pet him otherwise, he gets all wacky and morphs his body into liquid form. Look but don’t touch is his motto. Unless he wants to be touched. Then you touch him. I don’t know… you figure it out.
As long as it’s on his terms, you are more than welcome to pet Rolz, otherwise, not so much!
Kizmet is a big ball of love and enjoys being hugged. But he prefers to be the one that does the hugging and will religiously sleep on my head while I watch TV at night, with his paws hugging my face.
Kizmet giving me my nightly hug!
Mia takes the prize for the most unique cat, however. If you pet her, sometimes you would swear she is feral, she gets so spooked. Mia has lived in our house her whole life – in pampered luxury – and has absolutely nothing to be distrustful of. But what makes that statement even more perplexing, is that she actually loves to be loved. But on her terms, terms that typically revolve around the hamper in the bathroom.
Allow me to elaborate because this one stretches the imagination. While I shower, she sits on the hamper and waits for me. When I get out, I wrap my head in a towel, turban style, and I bend down to pet her (because she insists on it). While I am bent down, she takes her front paws and pushes my head down so that she can jump up on top of my head. To nap. I kid you not. If it were not for the fact I have to go to work in the morning, she would sleep on top of my head all day if I let her.
Not the best picture, but you get the idea. This is Mia sitting on top of my head, getting ready to settle herself in for a long nap…
She is also the same cat that will sleep on my legs every night with Zoey. But I have to pretend she is not there, because if I pet her, then she gets like a teenage kid who is mortified at any sign of affection by a parent in public. So, I just let her sit on me and I revel in the fact I know she quietly loves me.
This blurry selfie is of my painted toenails, Zoey, and Mia. Shhh… don’t let Mia know you are looking at her, or she will run away!
Actually, I know all of my cats love me and that makes me so happy. And that is why I love them back – because I can’t help it. All the kissy noises and high-pitched conversations to them, all the quick pats whenever I walk past one of them. The physical hugs, snuggles, and cuddles. All day and night – I am absolutely unable to not let them know how much I love them and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And truth be told, despite that sometimes they seem exasperated by my overt affections, deep down I know they love it too.
Jazmine makes no bones about it – she loves to be loved! All you have to do is look at her and she will flop on her back and melt in appreciation, her motor purring so loud you can hear her a mile away! Hugging, kissing, snuggling – all of it is welcome! Of course, rewarding her with a treat doesn’t hurt either – she’ll be anyone’s best friend who does that!
So what’s its like in your house? Do your cats have special hugging, petting, and snuggling rules? I’d love to hear from you, so please share your stories!
With 7 of us here there is the same strange range of pet/cuddle/attention requirements and rules. Description of Zee’s fav bonding time had Mom howling – our brofur Zeus does the same thing! Mom wonders what IS it with us cats and supervising all bathroom activities. She especially appreciates get
Zorro : I’m not a lap cat, but I love hugs and I don’t mind being picked up and carried. I come near Mum’s legs when she watches TV and stay here. Or I jump on the counter and love to rub my face against hers.
Pixie : early morning, when Mum is barely woken, I crawl under the cover purring loud : it’s cuddle and snuggle time. But after that, don’t try to pick me up for a hug, I don’t like it at all ! If you try, I’ll climb on your shoulders to escape ! I prefer to come on Mum’s lap while she’s working at the computer, or while she’s on the white throne (yes, Zee, me too !).
Purrs
Such a great post! We have three cats and all have their very own personalities. Scooter is the oldest and is very notional. Kitty hugs are out! Petting her requires us to know the signs of boredom when petting her. In anywhere from five seconds to maybe a minute if we are lucky, we get to pet her. We need to be proactive in hands off to avoid breakage of skin. Alice interrupts my computer sessions by pawing at my legs and arms so I will get up, go out to the food dish, and put a small helping on her place mat. It is OK because she is such a joy with her numerous foibles. Russell loves to sit on my lap and share kisses and nose bumps. Who wouldn’t love that! Those are our three cats. We live in an apartment and the limit of cats is three.
What a fun post! Pierre will squiggle out of any hug and climb up onto your shoulders. He’s more comfortable going for a ride than being snuggled. He’s the only lap cat, though, and will gladly accept a lap offered by someone he knows. He doesn’t warm to strangers. Newton loves people and will run up to them like he wants a hug, but he doesn’t like being held by anyone but the man of the house. It’s male bonding. Newt is a “hang out near you” cat who rarely snuggles except in winter — which is brief here in Florida. Ashton only snuggles and solicits attention from me, and then only in her specified locations: the bed, the cat tree. She will run to the cat tree and look back, hoping you’ll follow her, but she’s afraid of being approached by anyone else and will jump down if the wrong person takes her up on the invitation. It’s amazing how people who don’t have cats don’t understand they have such diverse personalities… it’s really clear that they do just from their preferences in affection!
Garfield cuddles on his own terms. Hope,Tubby don’t like to be held and you have to wait till they want to be looked at. Cashew will meow and raise his paws to be held. Charlie sits on your lap when he wants to. I used to have one that would always cuddle with me. I miss that. We had a recliner that he would always wait for someone to sit on.
All of us, except Lisbeth, love to be loved and will take all the kissing, hugging and petting we can get. Lisbeth likes attention, but picking up, kissing or hugging are out of the question. Petting and scratching her butt is all she wants. Hope you will join us for our Sunday Selfies Blog Hop. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo
It is so nice to know the different ways your cats show their love. Flynn is not a lap cat. He may jump up and sit for a minute but that is it. He loves to be picked up and cuddled though. He is a tapper too. If I am standing up, he will tap my leg to be picked up, or if I am sat at the computer he will jump up on the desk and gently tap me on my face to let me know it is cuddle time.
He also has a thing about me and the bathroom. He only has to hear me get up and he zooms off so he can be there before me.
When I go to bed I have to lie on my back so he can lie full length on top of me. He leaves sometime through the night, but never before I am asleep.
We all have different ideas of affection and space. And don’t mind expressing our preferences.
Believe it or not, I loved to be kissed and give kisses. If you tell anyone this, I’ll deny it. Pop can pick me up sometimes but never TW. After almost 10 years, I’m starting to let TW give me head and neck scritchies and scratch my ruff. I’ll never be a lap cat. OTOH, Autumn was a complete lap cat. If you came into the room and started talking to her but didn’t pet her, it would drive her crazy. She’d start biting on her paws with frustration.
Our only wule is dat weez have to get lots and lots of hugs and kisses and pats. Weez like ’em all da time, so anytime is good wiff us. We have a fw spots dat be just our times wiff mommy wiffout da udder. well sort of. At least we boff get a hand. MOL
Luv ya’
Dezi and Lexi
I’m a momma’s boy and l loved getting petted…but I don’t like to be held much. Wally is very affectionate and doesn’t mind being picked up and held, but he’s not much of a cuddler. Zoey…well, we don’t call her the “she devil” for nothing. She doesn’t like to be picked up or held and she’s not a cuddler. But she does like to be petted. ~Ernie
That was too funny Deb! It’s much the same here too. I like to lay against and on my Mom. Gracie love to be petted but not held, Zoe doesn’t mind being held and likes to snuggle too. Sascha, nope, no holding or petting unless she specifically asks. Dolly loves being loved and likes to be held and will snuggle against whoever is available. Precious is okay with holding and snuggling as long as it’s not another cat doing the snuggling. Lastly, sister Kit loves to be a lap cat and loves to snuggle and petting is okay with her too.
Lola: Oh, I’m a total love bug! If Mommy could carry me around in her pocket all day I’d be the happiest kitty ever. I love laps and sleeping on top of Mommy and I sleep with her every night. I follow her around and meow until she picks me up, and when she puts me down I meow some more so she’ll pick me up again!
Lexy: I am not a lap cat. And please don’t pick me up. The only human that can do that is Mother, and only for about 20 seconds. That being said, I love to be petted. Every morning I follow Mother into the bathroom and sit on the sink demanding attention. Once I let you know you can pet me, I love it.
M gives me kisses .all the ti,e and every now and then Iwill give her a kiss bac. I love M and D equally, but show it in different ways. I don’t even,mid M’s kisses.
Here I am blessed with 2 wonderful cats who love lovin’ … on their own terms. ReeRee is a lovely tortie shorthair who is the resident hunter! “No mouse in House” is her motto and that extends to the yard and the garden. She knows we understand her “off-ish” moments of “don’t touch me!” It means she is ready to hunt after a long, meticulous grooming session. In return for respecting her simple wishes the garden is pest free and the love sessions can be down right comical! She jumps up on her special counter, waits for Matt or me to come by. Just one stroke and the purr machine starts up with snuggles, head butts and highly energetic rolls (which require rescues to keep her from falling off the edge). The same show is performed in the garden daily. I think she’s telling me how much she loves her job as well as us.
Baby (official name Dirigo Moonlit Sea ), is our 4 year old silver tabby Maine Coon. Only recently has he given himself over to displays of affection. Little gestures like petting me…yes, stroking me with his “hand”, “Kissing” me by pressing his muzzle ever so gently on my face and head. He knows just how to melt my heart. Those precious moments when he lets me get my hands into his luxurious coat and bury my face into his side takes away the sad moments. I can’t thank him enough for those generous moments of sharing affection.
Sadly, neither Baby nor ReeRee like to cuddle up for those night sessions. But the more time that goes by the more expressive they are becoming. I haven’t given up hope that they’ll begin sharing night cuddles with me.
No 2 kitties are the same, they are all unique. My Sammy sleeps on my head ( of course he is 20 pounds), only 2 sit on my lap, yet most will sit on hubby’s lap- cat logic?
We’re lucky enough to have three cats who all tolerate snuggles from the humans. Interstingly, Moosey was not a big fan of it when he first cam here eight years ago, but he loves it now. Gracie is a huge snuggler, and Zoe loves sleeping on the back of the sofa, with her paw draped on my shoulder, as we watch television. 🙂
round heer we like ta get petz, cuddles & head kisses dee pendin on de followin:
de moon, de weather, R mood, de time oh day, de day oh de week, if we has eaten,
whooz a round, if de access door two de garage open, R de windows shut, what seezon it iz,
iz R birthday soon, did we just due sum thin…bad…..and does de food serviss gurl her selves…stinx
♥♥♥