How to Live in a Multi-Cat Household and Keep the Peace and Harmony
Living in a multi-cat household, one of the questions I get asked most frequently, is how do they all get along so well? That’s a fair question, especially when you consider in the past couple of years I have introduced two new feline rescues into a social dynamic that was functioning like a well stacked house of cards – the slightest wrong move and the whole thing could come tumbling down with disastrous results.
Well, the truth is, they don’t always get along so well – despite how quickly Kizmet, then Jazmine fit into the mix, there have been some tiffs, bruised egos, and hurt feelings. But, for the most part, those issues have been minimal and there are a few key reasons for that:
Hurt feelings? Tiffs? Bruised egos? Whatever is that human talking about says Rolz and Zee…
1. Dan and I make every effort possible to make sure that each of our eight cats gets special individual attention everyday.
2. We make certain that the living space we share with our cats has lots of high and low spaces, pet beds, cat condos and more so that they can have the protection and privacy they might desire to have on their own.
3. We encourage collective activities between the cats that reinforce positive rewards such as play time, treat time, grooming time, watching birds and squirrels outside the window time, and dinner time.
One of the best moments of the day for the cats is when I groom them. All I have to do is open the “cat drawer” to take out their comb and brush and they will come running!
4. We respect that cats are cats and that they are creatures of habit and so we continue to keep our schedules with them as regular as possible, such as feeding times.
5. We are patient with the process – introducing a new cat into the social dynamic should be done gradually. Fights, hissing, and growling is normal and does not mean that things won’t work out. That is why it is always a good idea to give a new cat a room of its own in the beginning and slowly introduce it to the rest of the cats until everyone feels safe and secure.
When we first brought Jazmine home, she had her own room with her own bed, toys, litter box, and food dishes.
6. We keep the litter boxes spotlessly cleaned and scoop all day and night long. Cats are competitive as it is – ensuring that the litter box is constantly clean lessons any chances of “accidents” happening out of territorial anger. Not to mention it’s just common courtesy. You wouldn’t want to use a dirty bathroom to do your business, would you?
7. All cats in our household have been spayed or neutered. Not only is it better for their health, but behavioral problems that can exist from an unaltered cat are virtually eliminated such as spraying and marking the house with urine. Trust me, it makes a huge difference and the fighting and aggression levels go way down.
8. Those times we have brought a new cat into the household, we made the decision to do so because the cat exhibited a certain personality and resolve that gave us an indication they would be able to handle themselves in our existing crowd without too much undue stress or trauma. While there is no guarantee to this method, evaluating your living arrangements, the personalities of your other cats, and how much time and effort you can put into easing a new cat into your household is extremely important to any decision you make to adopt a new cat.
Both Jazmine and Kizmet have always had more than their share of spunk and cattitude and can hold their own!
Kizmet and Jazmine both exhibited a strong and confident personality and then some… Both of them took matters into their own paws when it came to fitting in and it’s actually been the other cats that have had to adjust. Little things that maybe no one else would notice – Rolz has started a fight with Peanut now and again, not so much because he is angry at her, but it is from the confusion of having a new hierarchy in the house and that is his way of channeling his anger at the situation. He and Kizmet used to be best buds and now he has been replaced by an orange and white ball of playful fluff.
It’s not that Kizmet and Rolz aren’t friends anymore, but their relationship is not as close as it once was…
And our love muffin Peanut has become a somewhat sullen and jealous girl. She used to spend most of her day with Dan while he was on the computer and now that Jazmine has also taken up that habit, she is not happy about it and spends most of her days napping in the bedroom.
Peanut used to spend much of her day sleeping in the dining room window next to Dan on her Sunny Seat. Jazmine has taken the seat over and Peanut prefers to nap in the bedroom now.
Zee has also changed – part of it is due to his age – the older he gets, the more possessive he has become of Dan and I, but some of it is due to Jazmine. She happens to love to be groomed and so does he. If anyone is getting a turn other than him, there may be an occasional swat, as if he is saying that he, and only he, is allowed to be brushed. He also has a tendency to sleep even closer to us at night – many a time I will wake up with him smack on top of my head and that seems to be happening with more frequency because Jazmine has now discovered the bedroom.
Zee and Mia prefer to spend the days sharing nap time on the hamper in the bathroom… So far it has been a Jazmine free zone…
Up until last week, when Dan and I went to bed, Jazmine would be on the kitchen counter. She would not venture into the bedroom and it was almost as if the other cats had put up an invisible wall that kept her at bay. Well, curiosity got the better of her, or maybe it was a bug she was chasing, but one night she ended up in our room. She saw our toes wiggling under the blankets and that was that. Every night when we go to bed now, she runs in like an eager puppy dog so that she can defend the household from dangerous blanket monsters…
The hardest adjustment has been for Zoey and I. When I am done for the day my favorite thing to do is sit on the couch and unwind with some TV. Zoey will instantly appear and sleep on my outstretched legs. The moment Jazmine arrived, that stopped and Zoey has been spending most of her nights sleeping on the guest bed while I am watching TV. I go in and give her all sorts of loving, but she does not want any part of sharing the couch with me. I remain patient with her and it has slowly been paying off. Just a couple of nights ago, she jumped up on the couch with me again and I also caught her grooming Jazmine for the first time which is a big step.
This is the guest room where Zoey spends much of her time now… Not such a bad place to be…
It will all work out – none of the issues are drastic and truthfully, it’s not like Jazmine is really bothering any of them. There are no cats cowering under beds, the blood curdling screams coming from cats in battle is minimal, and all of them continue to eat and use the litter box with no retaliatory territorial issues. And Dan and I go out of our way to make certain that everyone is getting extra love and attention.
Sorry guys… yes… she’s still here and she’s staying too…
How could a face this precious possibly be the cause of any problems?!!!
Jazmine remains oblivious to it all and is clueless that she hasn’t lived with us her whole life. Her newest fascination is the shower – she has discovered that bugs can come up from the drain and she has become a diligent little soldier keeping an eye out for these dangerous beasts… So, all in all, the negatives have been far outweighed by the positives and for those of you considering adopting another cat after reading about mine, I would ask that you try it, but only if the circumstances and timing are right for you.
Eight cats are not for everyone, but maybe you have only one cat and are thinking about getting him or her a companion. If you do it and the relationship clicks, its one of the best things you can do for your feline friend. I just suggest that you really research what it is that you want – there are so many cats that could use a good home – from sweet, happy, and healthy young kittens to senior cats, to cats with disabilities or illnesses. All of them want to be loved, but they need to be placed in an environment that is best suited to their needs and the needs of your other cats to make it work out. Reach out to others – ask questions and get as much advice and information as you can before you make your decision. After all, a pet is a lifetime commitment and you want everyone to be as happy and stress-free as possible.
Harley remains Harley… As long as she is fed and has her spot next to me on the couch, she’s not going to let something like the addition of another cat spoil her day…
What about those of you with more than one cat? How long did it take for them to get along? Any tips to share in ways you keep the peace and balance in your household?
Great post, and a testament to yours and Dan’s patience and ability to “go with the flow” rathen than necessarily by the book when it comes to ensuring a peaceful multicat home. I’ve found that in most cases, the humans’ energy is a big part of ensuring that new cat introductions, or addressing issues among resident cats, are key to a peaceful resolution. Cats are so sensitive to energy that they will pick up on the humans being stressed about a situation, which usually contributes to making things worse rather than better.
Ingrid – I don’t even know what going by the book means – for me, much of it is intuitive and every cat is different, so there is no one formula for success for each household. Positive energy certainly is critical and I believe you are 100% correct that it has made a big difference in our household. That even holds true when a cat is sick – the power of love and positive energy can be an incredible healing tool.
So many times people will adopt a kitty from us (humane society) as a companion for their cat at home and as soon as it doesn’t work out the first week they bring the cat back. People don’t understand that it takes time for a pet already in the home to adjust to a new sibling. Just as if there is a toddler in the home and you bring home a new baby.
Happy Saturday!
That is so sad carma. A cat from a shelter can already be so traumatized and it is ridiculous to think they can just adapt to new surroundings at the snap of a finger. I imagine the shelter volunteers try their best to educate people who adopt a cat to be patient, but clearly that does not always happen. I wish there were a test people would have to take before they adopt so they that could better understand what the commitment, responsibility, and acclimation process is all about.
Looks familiar! It’s really when cats rule, and I always pictured myself wading among them, still do. I’ve always been mystified when people expect a house full of cats–or any other creature–to all get along flawlessly when if you put a house full of unrelated people together you’d certainly have ups and downs, and maybe a TV sitcom! And looking forward to our conversation!
Creative Cat – when you put it like that, it’s almost ridiculous to think cats would get along at all! Us people have been at war since the beginning of time, yet we wonder why cats don’t instantly get along when they meet one another! Cats have such a diverse range of personalities and that has to be taken into account to keep a semblance of peace! Looking forward to talking to you as well!
Such a good post. Having gone through a painful, failed adoption last year, integration of a new cat is a big topic of interest around here. You and Dan have fostered a great environment for the cats so that they feel secure enough to work things out. That’s no small feat with so many in a household.
Sometimes, Cats Herd You – yes, the environment is critical – both physical and mental. I was thinking of that last night – what if we lived in a tiny house without all the special cat condos, hiding spaces, and extra rooms? Would they all get along then? I honestly don’t think they would. That’ why you really have to analyze your own personal surroundings BEFORE you bring another cat into your household or the results can be a fiasco – you know exactly what I mean – litter issues, spraying issues, brutal fighting, etc. – all of that can occur if you don’t provide your cats with the unique time and space they need.
Our cats Xena and Trillian just do not like each other and apparently never will considering that it’s been about five years now. However, we give them both lots of attention and they’ve learned to exist in the same room without a fight breaking out. Velvet, our oldest cat, is a peacemaker and will step in to break up conflicts. Unfortunately our male cat, Dr. Jones, is a bit of a troublemaker and he’ll sometimes hassle Xena just to rile her up. Velvet will put a stop to that as well.
We have one cat, Kaylee, who lives in a separate part of the house because all attempts to introduce her to the others have led to her being bullied and intimidated. She seems happy where she is as long as we pet her and spend time with her.
Average Jane – sometimes, no matter what you do, not all cats will be best friends, let alone friends at all. But, if they can at least coexist without fighting, that is a good thing and I am glad that you at least have that going on with Xena and Trillian. It can be heartbreaking when the relationship goes to extreme levels of feline fighting and at that point, it would seem the recommendations of a cat behaviorist might be in order.
Great info and we practice all those things here. Except for Sister Precious, we all get along magically, but we are not about to give up on Precious. She will like us!
Brian – as you know, we follow your blog all the time and we agree that Precious will get along with you all one day. Patience is so important and you are such a kind cat to recognize that!
Lovely post!! I have 11 — all adopted or rescued. We live in a small apartment, so being able to put a cat in his/her own room for a bit was virtually impossible. What my son would do (as I found out later!) whenever we got a new addition, he would put them all in the bathroom together, until they all got along! He did this while I was at work. It worked like a charm! Yes, we still have the occasional hissy fit, but for the most part, they all get along. Most of them sleep with me — so I end up with live, warm blankies!! I love my furry children, and they are in their FUREVER home — and they know it!!
Diane – I am so glad all has worked out for you and your lovely gang of adpoted and rescued felines! I imagine your home is filled with much love!
That is all so true here and we do have some individuals that will just not accept new blood., They eventually learn to get along for the most part. I truly believe that if a cat can have it’s own space that is special to them, then they seem to do all right. There are a few that think that the whole house is just for them. But I bet that all the cats there are happy. Take care.
Marg – just like humans, some cats prefer a bit more of a solitary life and we have to respect that. As you say, as long as they can have their own space, then it usually works out. I love looking at pictures of your gang – today’s post you did was so sweet!
Great post ! It took one whole year until Angel Loupi was able to coexist with me, and I think we would never have been best friends. I’ve not the same character, and I hope I’ll be a good brofur when the little Pixie will join me in June. Purrs, Zorro
Thank you Swiss Cats! How fun that you will have a brofur in June – we can’t wait to hear stories!
Deb, this one of my favorite posts of yours and shared with love. It illustrates the nuances of the ever shifting landscapes of living with multiple cats. Every cat and every day is different and I have enormous respect for how you and Dan handle it. P.S. Might Peanut have her own perch near Dan?
Thank you Layla – you are so right, the landscape is everchanging in a multicat houshold- between the sex of the cats, the ages that they are, and the personalities they each have, it would be impossible for life to remain static. As long as we remain in tune with what they are communicating with us, then all is relatively well! As far as Peanut (and Zoey too) I must admit that today was a big day for us all – there was some very positive playtime occuring between Jazmine, Zoey, and Peanut and I think we have broken down some of the jealousy barriers. Zoey has been prancing around all day like her old self and Peanut also came to snuggle on my lap this morning like she does every weekend when I am home from work. And right now, Rolz is actually in the Sunny Seat!
This is such good advice. It almost makes me want to get another cat, but as it is Mario could outlive us and I think my daughter will take him. i’m not so sure she’s willing to take two more tho. You and your hubby are great pet pawrents!
Mario – you have to do what you are most comfortable with. We always love seeing a house with more than one cat, but we always respect and understand that not everyone can do that. I’m glad you enjoyed the post!
Fantastic post Deb! I know you and Dan certainly have a houseful, but it is great to hear about how they do and don’t get along. With our six (once seven) we have two cats that are isolated in a master bedroom because one of our cats terrorizes them. It is hard to live like that, but we work very hard to get them to all get along.
Thanks for sharing their trials and tribulations! I hope that they all accept each other soon 🙂
Thank you Rachel – I know that you and your family members are very patient people! I am confident with a lot more patience, that one day your gang will all get along, or at the very least, be able to coexist without terror.
We are 6 months into introducing a beautiful black panther Sage, who was 17 mos when we brought her home…and our resident cat Savannah who we have had for 2 1/2 years now (she is about 7-8 yrs) has been the one we have had to really look out for. Savannah was badly traumatized at sometime in her life, then she was dropped in the night drop cage at the kill shelter; they kept her for 3 months trying to get her adopted but two months she was stuck in a small cage at Petsmart. The our rescue pulled her a few hours before she was to be PTS; she languished at our rescue for a year. Peter and I found her the first week we arrived to volunteer…and thought to foster her; only to learn she was a long term project and so we adopted her. We finally wanted to try another cat last Fall and looked for a specific type cats: black; gender did not matter; young but over 9 months; mellow and not pushy; very playful and comfortable with all people. Enter Sage. It has been tough, but finally Savannah is feeling more confident and Sage is learning to leave her alone. WE have learned so much and Savannah will share her learning on her blog one day. Your post was lovely
Savannah – your story is so heartwarming and I know it has been a long road for all. Your human’s are very kind and it was so wise of them to really think about what kind of cat would best suit your personality and prior situation. I marvel at how far you have come and you are such a success story of why every kitty deserves a good home!
Great post. We have four cats, and they get along for the most part. Everyone has places he or she can go to to escape.
BTW, love the sunny seat!
–Purrs (and wags) from Life with Dogs and Cats.
Thank you Susan – I am glad your gang gets along and yes, we love the Sunny Seat too!
It doesn’t always work out. Wally and Zoey do not see eye to eye and still need to be kept separated from one another. And after 5 years, while I haven’t given up hope, my hope has waned. I have tried behaviorists…with little luck. A lot of it has to do with personalitlies. Zoey was a semi-feral stray and thinks other cats are a threat. I probably should have found Zoey another home, but I knew she wouldn’t be a real desirable cat, though she is a beauty. While the situation may not be ideal, we do the best we can…and it works out okay.
Island Cat mom
Island Cats – I am sorry to hear how hard it has been. I know that must break your heart, because your intentions were good. But, you are doing the best you can and Zoey has a warm and loving home which is a very good thing.
It seems that the more cats in a household, the easier it is to add another one. My furrend Herbie has 8 fursibs and they basically just yawn when another one was innerduced. It didn’t work for me, though. Our condo is too small and we don’t have a room to keep the new cat in. The peeps tried with Isabel but the stress on me was too much.
CK – in some regards that is true. At one point I had a house full of cats, dogs, rabbits, and more. The existing cats took it in stride, but truth be told, I was no where near as educated as I am now. There were spraying issues that probably could have been avoided had I realized about the importance of personal high and low space and things like that.
When I adopted Leo, I had visions of two grey kitties curled up together. After three years, I’m resigned that it will never happen. I’d settle for peaceful co-existance, and for the most part that’s what we get. But at least once a day somecat baps another cat and we have to defuse a fight. It does get better every year, but it’s slow and not easy to see on a daily basis. Keeping a long view helps.
Andrea… cats can be like people in that regard. Sometimes we just don’t like one another. I do hope the tides turn for you but at the very least, I wish you a peaceful coexistence!
Tuna is following in dude’s footpads….truth be told he and sauce should never have been adopted together. Sauce
would have allowed another cat in his life; in fact he and boomer would have made great companions. Boomer and Daisy get along, but need their space, much as we all do. dude could not tolerate a cat passing by his yard, let alone
one in the house and while tuna is a “bully” he is not as aggressive as dude was. tuna is like a perpetual two year old; mine mine mine mine. he will have to do a complete 360 and I doubt that happens as he has settled in and loves being king of the roost. while I seriously doubt it happens, God help me if boomer or daisy outlive my mom or dad as they will come to live with me; there’s not enough calming collars on the planet to aide that situation. 🙁
Whew tabbies… that is a hectic household indeed!!
I came to say happy Kizmet Day on the Cats of the CB calendar, and am glad I visited because of this excellent post (with beautiful pictures).
We are down to two cats now, and they get along just fine. Tommie has kidney disease and we don’t want him to have anymore stress in his life. Mickey Mouser, formerly feral, is great but so easily spooked that none of our friends or family has ever seen him. For now I don’t want to introduce any more cats into our home, although I’d love to foster. I’m afraid to rock this boat!
Anyway, I get to spend time with lots of cats at the shelter where I volunteer… just can’t have any of them follow me home right now.
Maggie – first of all, thank you for the reminder on Kizmet – I had not looked at the calendar in a few days and did not realize it was a special day for Kizmet! Shame on me!
As far as your other comment on my post, I completely understand what you mean. I remember one time when we had an older cat, Kit, who was ailing – I had wanted to get another cat but did not want to cause Kit any undue stress, as that is just not fair. I waited until she went to the Bridge and I am happy that you are being respectful of the current dynamic in your house. And I am sure the kitties in the shelter are grateful for the time you share with them.
As someone who has multiple cats living in one house this post was great and informative! Thanks so much for sharing!
Thanks Felissa – glad you liked it!