Zoey always loved the holidays—especially the warmth of the Christmas tree’s lights.

It’s the holidays, and I’m trying very hard to manage the pain amongst the joy. I miss my beloved Zoey so much. I’ve been living in relative denial, not truly believing her last breath was taken in my arms, the late evening of November 19. But something simple—pulling out the Christmas stockings, each one embroidered with my cat’s name, was a harsh jolt that she’s not with me. I carry the sadness in my heart every moment of the day. Still, I’m trying to be grateful for what I have—my dear family, friends, Dan, and my remaining clowder—Mia, Peanut, Rolz, Kizmet, Jazmine, and Shadow.

I’m sorry if I’ve brought anyone down. I’m just speaking the truth of my heart. But I didn’t want the day to pass without letting you know how blessed I am to have you all as part of Zee and Zoey’s Cat Connection. Take care, Happy Holidays, and see you next year.

Who knew a cat so small could leave a hole in the heart so big?

Zoey was my dream cat—one I had wished for long before I ever held her. In mid-2008, several months after losing my beloved tabby, Kit, I found myself aching for light in a house that felt dim with grief. Even surrounded by my other feline companions—Whitney, Jazz, Zee, our loyal dog Bandit, and my fiancé, Dan—there was a heaviness that settled into every room. We all felt it. We needed a bright spot, and on June 14, Dan and I made the hour-long drive to a Bengal cattery to pick up my chosen girl, not knowing just how much she would significantly impact our lives.

June 15, 2008 – Zoey’s first photo.

I already had the name Zoey in my mind. It just felt right, and the moment I laid eyes on her— a tiny and beautiful bundle of spotted fluff—I fell in love. She was a fuzzy slip of a thing that fit perfectly in the palm of my hands. When I placed her in the carrier to bring her home, I was unprepared for the intensity of her reaction. She had a relentless, blood-curdling noise that bleated from her little lungs, and her petite paws had a death grip on the carrier with incredible strength, trying to pry it open to make her escape for freedom. She screamed like a wild banshee the entire trip home. This vocalization would soon be revealed as trademark Zoey forevermore.

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At 5:15 a.m., the bedroom was dark, and when I put my foot on the floor to slide on my carefully laid sandals from the night before, I felt something soft and squishy. Yes, of course, there was a hairball in my right sandal, courtesy of my precious ginger cat, Jazmine, that was now embedded between my toes. Lovely. I was getting up, as I do 365 days a year, to feed my feline gang, including Jazmine and my six other cats – Zoey, Mia, Peanut, Rolz, Kizmet, and Shadow. It’s an ordeal. First, before I’ve even had coffee or the chance to wake up fully, I scoop three litter boxes. If I’m lucky, I don’t have to scoop again, but often as soon as I scoop, one of them will go again, meaning, back to scooping. Not to mention the litter that is kicked outside the box, which I have to sweep up…

Preparing breakfast is a foggy whirlwind. Each cat has specific dietary needs, and while I’m getting everything ready, they are meow-screaming at me the whole time. As the house is quiet, naturally, the sound level is amplified to a piercing level and on a continuous loop. One would think they’ve never been fed… After that, there’s cleanup, which is not just washing their feeding bowls and changing water, but typically one of them will throw up from eating too fast, which means more cleaning for me. Several of them will use the litter box again, so that means more scooping. Generally, when all is said and done, it takes between 30 and 45 minutes before I’m done with the process and can blessedly drink my first cup of coffee.

Click on the image to enlarge to see the cat math!

Rinse and repeat. They have a small lunch around noon, dinner around 5:00 p.m., and a smaller snack meal around 8:30 p.m. I find that feeding them several small meals throughout the day, rather than a big breakfast and dinner, works best for their digestion and well-being, but it does require a lot of effort from me, although these meals are slightly less complicated than breakfast. There are treats, too—usually at least twice a day. Then, aside from feeding and endless litter scooping, there is also grooming, administering meds, playtime, and more. I’m genuinely exhausted by the end of the day, but despite all this, I am not sharing my day because I’m complaining. I’m sharing because I’m grateful to be doing it. Today is Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day, a day I founded in 2015 in tribute to my precious Ragdoll cat, Mr. Jazz, whom I had to say goodbye to on August 28, 2013.

The day was created for people to share memories of pets they loved and lost, but never forgotten. What wouldn’t I give to feed Mr. Jazz again, or scoop his litter, or brush his fur? I miss him dearly. I miss all my angels – especially those that were such a strong part of the Zee/Zoey gang – Mr. Jazz, Harley, and Zee. Remembering them gives me even more reason to be grateful for what I have in my life now, as I know my time with them is fleeting.

My beautiful angels – Zee, Harley, and Mr. Jazz

I give all of you who have loved and lost a beloved companion my deepest sympathy and support. Every day is a day to remember them, but consider today, and an extra-special hug from me to you.

xoxox

Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day is a special day dedicated to honoring the memories of those beloved pets in our lives we have loved and lost but never forgotten. Whether a pet with fur, fin, feathers, scales, or something else – one pet or many – this day was created for you to honor that pet in any way that feels most comfortable to you. Post a picture, write a poem, share a favorite memory, host a memorial event, upload a video, or write a special blog post and share the link.

ABOUT RAINBOW BRIDGE REMEMBRANCE DAY:
Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day was founded in 2015 by Deborah Barnes, award-winning author and blogger of Zee & Zoey’s Cat Chronicles, in tribute to her Ragdoll cat, Mr. Jazz, whom she had to say goodbyes to on August 28, 2013. She shared the journey of letting him go in her critically acclaimed book, Purr Prints of – A Cat’s Tale of Life, Death, and Beyond, and decided to create the day in his honor as a way for others across the world to share memories of their pets they had loved and lost.

Logo designed by Deborah Barnes

The gang’s all here! Zoey, Mia, Peanut, Rolz, Kizmet, Jazmine, and Shadow.

Technically speaking, I’m not a childless cat lady. I gave birth to two wonderful sons way back in the dinosaur age of the 1980s. But, if you do the math, they’ve been adults for eons, and I haven’t had to provide for their food, shelter, or basic needs for many years. My current gang of seven cats, however, is a different story. Ranging in ages from five to sixteen, I provide them with food, shelter, and more daily. At this point in my life, I may as well be a childless cat lady. Read more

Kizmet is using my head as a pillow. He lives for these happy moments and so do I.

Kizmet is an “I’m happy if I can be sleeping on my beloved human’s head,” kind of cat. Politics is not his thing to pontificate, nor as his human, is it mine. However, with today the 4th of July, 248 years since the adoption of the Declaration of Independence in 1776, it’s hard not to think of politics as America ponders its future.  Today is also Kizmet’s 12th birthday and the only wish he has, is the same one I have: regardless of where you stand, or what your beliefs are, we hope we can come together as a race, with compassion, empathy, tolerance, and fairness.

Happy 12th Birthday, Kizmet!

Take care everyone, and be safe. And don’t forget,  the 4th of July can be a rough, scary, and dangerous time for our feline friends. Please visit here for my previous post on how to keep our cats safe and secure during the 4th of July festivities and the hot, summer days.

Kizmet from November, 2012. This was a few days after we adopted him from Pet Supermarket (he had been found, abandoned on the side of the road as a kitten).