How a Cat Lady Accepts Age with Grace and Thankfulness…

bmw

This will do nicely… just get it in a pretty copper color so that I can coordinate it with all my leopard interior stuff!

While I would not have complained if someone were to have given me a BMW Z4 Roadster for my birthday this past Thursday, the older you get, the more you realize that it’s not about the physical gifts, but the love, relationships, and friendships around you. I say this because this birthday was a milestone for me – I don’t mean in terms of a particular age, but it was the first one in a long, long time that I had celebrated without Mr. Jazz in my life and it really put things into perspective.

birthday-jazz

I gotta admit, I was doing okay until I posted this picture… then it really hit me that Jazz is no longer with me… It is a month to the day today – R.I.P. my darling boy…

I still miss him terribly and I know that is normal. I also know that the grieving process never quite goes away, but I am at that stage now where the sadness is being replaced with a sense of peace and calm because I know he is still with me. As a matter of fact, I think he may be channeling himself through Zee, as if to let me know he has never really left me at all.

When I went to bed Wednesday night, I was dreaming of him and the dreams were so vivid that I could see every fur on his body and I physically felt his presence. He used to drape his soft and warm body over mine until he eventually moved and settled somewhere next to me where I would find him the next morning when I woke up. That was the sensation I felt in my dream.

I now realize that it was Zee and not Mr. Jazz as I had imagined. When I woke up on my birthday, I found Zee next me with his front left paw extended, touching my arm as I was cradling his comforting body.  His intuitiveness that I needed this from him was the greatest gift I possibly could have gotten and I just know it was Mr. Jazz’s way of letting me know he was celebrating the day with me.

deb-and-zee

I love Zee so much – just like Mr. Jazz, he is such a wise and kind cat…

All it all it was a very simple and quiet day and that was exactly what I wanted and needed – I had the day off from work and I was surrounded by Dan and my kitties and despite wanting to ignore the fact I am a year older, I was inundated with all kinds of wonderful birthday wishes from my friends though social channels and you all made me feel like a million bucks!

Deb-Barnes-of-Zee-and-Zoey

The best part of life is sharing time with my family, friends, and beloved kitties. It seems that Harley and Kizmet agree with me!

Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes and I hope you all have a great weekend!

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  1. Cathy Keisha says:

    Blue jeans? Glad you had a nice birthday and Mr. Jazz is with you in spirit. Mr. Zee says you must Love the Ones You’re With. Um, nice car.

  2. The Human says this a lovely post and she agrees with eberreething you said. It’s all about the love!

    Me, I’m still back up there, looking at the car.

    Happy belated birthday….and we agree about THAT!

  3. Rosemary says:

    I totally agree. The older we get, the less we need in the way of material goods. It’s all about the love.

  4. Pat Hatt says:

    What? It’s not about the presents? Geez, i don’t want to age lol so very true though

  5. Those first anniversaries are always touched by grief, but how special for Mr. Jazz to make it right again for you. Their love never ends, even though it’s still heartbreaking sometimes to realize, yet again, they really are gone. Happy birthday, though! I quit celebrating at 50, now it’s all just one big long year.

  6. Beautiful post! The greatest gift we could ever get is from our pets who stay with us all our lives.

  7. da tabbies o trout towne says:

    happy belated birthday Deb, the BMW is in FACT a birthday gift, but because it had to have
    a leopard print interior, the company told Dan it might be a few before you actually receive it…

    I don’t know what the company…or Dan for that matter….considers….a few !!

    The BMW series 8 , dark green with a gray interior I wanted….. is STILL on back order

    ?

    xxxxxxxxxxxx

    laura

  8. Rhonda Jones says:

    Wow, I was so meant to read this. I have missed many of your most recent blog posts, mainly due to the hectic pace of my life. I always meant to have a day off soon, where I simply sit and catch up on all of my unread blog posts.
    Well, tonight, something really spoke to me and told me to read this post. I do want to wish you a Happy Birthday, but I don’t think that’s why I was supposed to read your post.

    Mr Jazz was the reason I was supposed to read your post. Jazz was the reason I found you and your blog, as your tribute to him was posted on an FB cat site. Your posts about Jazz have helped me process my own kitty’s death. It’s been a year and a half and I still think of Pecheecho every single day. I so regret not taking better care of him and not recognizing his initial signs of illness. His peeing in my house seemed 100% related to my then boyfriends presence in my home. I found out too late that he had kidney failure and by then, there was nothing I could do but comfort care.

    Since his death, I do, like you, feel his presence in my home and I believe he led me to meet my current cat, who actually looks exactly like him. I can see Pecheecho w his feline arrogance saying “See, Rhonda, I found you a nice kitty.” I was actually looking for a cat that did NOT look anything like Pecheecho, but then his look alike found me and made it apparent that we belonged together.

    This new cat made me miss Pecheecho even more, as he was my caretaker and nurturer and she is more aloof. But, I do see Pecheecho guiding her and many times she does something exactly the way he did it and I know he told her to do it. Similar to how your cat Zee, cuddles up to you the same way Jazz did.

    Your posts about Jazz has helped me so much. I still say Jazz needs his own book too. He’s such a great healer kitty, even from the Rainbow Bridge.

    Happy Birthday and my heart continues to reach out to you as you continue grieving for Jazz. You are right, much of that grief never goes away.