First off, please let me stress that my cats give me untold love every single day of the year. Their devotion to me is astounding and I am truly blessed to have them in my life. From sunup to sundown, they amuse, fascinate, entertain, and comfort me and there is not another single thing I need or want from them. Well… okay… since it is nearly Christmas, maybe there is just a thing or two or ten that I would like. That said, here is my Christmas wish list from me, to my cats:

1. Maybe just once you would let me get up from my computer at dinnertime without being reminded with paw pats to the face, wailing meows, and general alarm that it is time to feed you. I have never, ever, ever since the beginning of time forgot to feed you, and I promise I never will.  Not to mention, you truly are not dying of starvation despite how it may seem.

Yes Peanut. For the 8 millionth time, I know it’s dinnertime. But thanks for the reminder. Again.

2. Perhaps you would use the litter box when you need to, not just because I scooped. And while you’re at it, how about you don’t all go one after the other, leading to me scoop for what seems like hours at a time waiting for you all to finish.

I don’t mind you using the litter box – in fact, I encourage it. But going right after you have already gone just because I’ve scooped seems a bit excessive…

3. When you play at night, can you please not use my head, or human Dad’s head as a launching pad with your extended claws to jump from one spot of the room to the next.

4. If you must eject a hairball, can it please be done in a discrete corner and not directly in the path of where I am sure to step on (in) it.

5. When you playfully fight with one another, can you please be less dramatic about it. Sometimes the noises that emit from you are so scary and blood curdling that I fear you could wake the dead.

It’s okay to fight now and again, but honestly, toning it down just a bit would be great.

6. Speaking of the dead, when you see spirits in the house, it kind of freaks me out. Can you tone it down a bit with the haunted eyes look.

Yeah… that look.

7. Can I please have my computer chair back.

8. I really like it when you sleep on the bed so I don’t have to make it – keep up the good job.

This is EXACTLY the kind of cooperation I like to see from you all. Keep it up.

9. I also really like it when you nap on the hamper. I hate doing laundry and you know I would never dream of disturbing you. Same goes for the clothes that come out of the dryer that I leave on the bed – please continue napping on them so I don’t have to put them away.

After 7 years, Zee and Zoey are still in love. And thankfully they still like to share space together on the hamper.

10. I don’t mind that you sleep in bed with me, but could you maybe sleep next to me instead of either on top of my head or directly on my feet. Sometimes my legs go numb and I wake up feeling like a twisted pretzel.

11. ** Bonus Gift** Keep being you because I love you all.

That’s about it. How about you all – do you have a gift request you’d like to ask your cat(s) for?

When all is said and done, I honestly couldn’t ask for more than what I already have. Me and my red painted toes love my cats with all my heart and soul.