A Step-Daughter’s Parallels, Perceptions, and Paths
Crystal and I in the Keys
Editor’s Note: My step-daughter Crystal has been promising me for months that she would write a post for Zee and Zoey’s blog. She comes to visit her Dad and I quite frequently from Boston, so I assumed I would get some sort of cute post on the comings and goings of the feline activity in our household from her perspective, as she is very familiar with the habits of our furry gang. What she sent me came completely out of the blue the other day and I am still quite overwhelmed with her heartfelt words.
We all have our own perceptions of who we are as a person, but do we really know how someone else perceives us? Crystal knows I will be attending BlogPaws in a few days and am also a nominee for the category of “Best Designed Blog” for the Petties. She wanted to send a post of support on my behalf before the big announcement will be made this upcoming Friday night. Well, after reading her words about me, I have all I will ever need and am the biggest winner in the world already. To be blessed with such a wonderful family is a gift that I do not take for granted. I am graciously humbled by Crystal’s expression to me and am so proud of her for all she has accomplished in her life and for all that she is striving for in her future – Deb
I have been promising my step-mother, Deb that I would appear as a guest-blogger for some time now. Many various cat-inspired themes have crossed my mind, and many posts have been started, but lacked genuine inspiration to continue. Last week, Deb posted about some similarities she noted between herself and the great Ernest Hemingway. She noted, tongue-in-cheek, the similarities between his birthplace, and where her mother was born, for example. In our family, we have lovingly referred to these coincidences as “God winks,” a term coined by Squire Rushnell.
Later that week, I found myself curled up in bed to finish reading a remarkable tale by the Brazilian author, Paulo Coelho. I found myself swept away by the simple, yet profound, allegorical tale crafted so magically in The Alchemist. The story centers around the journey of an Andalusian shepherd boy, Santiago, and his pursuit of his Personal Legend, a dream
that comes to us when we are young and “not afraid to dream.” Yet, despite how Coelho’s rich storytelling created a scene in my mind, I could not keep from returning to the select people in my life who embodied this journey in their own lives. After completing the novel, I felt both foolish and intensely gracious, as I have been blessed with real people in my life who have dared to follow their Personal Legends, but I never truly recognized the greatness in front of me.
Deb, after losing inspiration so many times as I tried to craft some sort of post that might be dignified and well-written enough to stand beside yours, I think I finally did it!
Classic Leopard... Classic Deb
“God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left for you,” reads a line in The Alchemist. Chills ran up my spine, goosebumps covering my arms, my mind thinking of “God winks” as we call them in our family. Instead of thinking of my own path, as I am usually frantically searching for omens and “winks,” my mind instead floated toward Deb, and her path. I could not help but think of Deb and her leopard print, even when leopard print was far from trendy. I thought of her recent post, and the similarities between her life and the life of Ernest Hemingway, even if they were only intended as tongue-in-cheek coincidences. I also lovingly reminisced of the timing Zee and Zoey chose to start their family: just as the humans in the home lost both incomes.
Yet, “when a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream,” according to the wisdom of this allegory. Though Deb did not realize it, the universe really did have a remarkable surprise in store for her with the birth of these kittens and the loss of her job. Sure, financial stability would have been a lot nicer, but Deb was prepared for this, having learned early on to make-do with what you have, and to try your best even if you don’t have enough to get by. Many people may have put all of the kittens up for adoption, rather than taking on the additional burden of four tiny mouths to feed, four more vet appointments, and sixteen more paws to curiously take hostage of all that is delicate and breakable in a home. That is not in Deb’s nature, though. Rather than fall victim to the depression and desperation that follows in the wake of the loss of a job, especially in a volatile economy, Deb found inspiration.
- Beautiful and happy Mama Zoey with her days old kittens.
Deb taking an ordinary moment in her life - crocheting - and making it extraordinary by sharing the time with her beloved cats
“When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.” In watching the chaos that surrounds four kittens as they capture the world in their delicate little paws, Deb began her journey from the Ordinary to the Extraordinary. She recognized what Coelho terms “The Language of the Universe,” in her uncanny ability to nearly pry into the minds of the felines living in her home. Deb recognized something within the lives of cats that far too many of us have lost in our hectic shuffling through life: that at any given moment something may come along which takes us from the ordinary to the extraordinary, if only we dare to look out from the chaos that often swirls around us. Take for example the images captured on this blog, cats whose lives have become absolutely miraculous because there is a bird in the backyard, or a bug in the house! Deb also teaches us that we can take the time to bring the extraordinary to others, as she varies the birdseed used in the front of the house so that her cats have “different channels” to watch. If there is one person I know that recognizes that good things happen every day, it is Deb.
Yes, of course that is Deb... with a deer!
“There is only one way to learn . . . It’s through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.” Long before The Chronicles of Zee & Zoey became a thought in Deb’s mind, and even longer before Zee or Zoey themselves came into Deb’s life, she was learning and preparing and already well on her journey. I have learned many things about Deb over the years, but a few have always stuck out as being a part of her core essence. Above all, Deb is a nurturer. It is at the very root of her soul. She is gentle and kind, which are two qualities that must accompany one as nurturing as she. One can be born with such traits, but it is only through experience and hardships that someone can fine-tune these qualities so that they are read by others just by being in her presence. This leads quite naturally to her relationship with animals. Animals by nature are very good at sensing what we as humans cannot always instinctively know. I think that’s why the animals around Deb are so different than many others I have known. It is not that they are more “human,” it is that they are more trusting of humans, and more accepting of our presence because they somehow know just how loved, appreciated, and cared for they are around her.
Deb is also immensely creative, some of it natural, some of it born of experience, having to make do with the materials at hand. Deb has been crafting things from the ordinary to the extraordinary for the entire time I’ve known her, and probably long before as well. If you doubt this, just see what she can create in the kitchen on the day after you should have gone grocery shopping! Many of you that read her blog may not be aware that Deb, at one point, wanted to teach history, and had taken courses for such. Though any classroom would be blessed by her presence, I am beginning to sense that it is not the history of textbooks that Deb was destined to teach, but more so that our own life histories are so much richer with experiences to learn from.
Deb whipping up God knows what in the kitchen that she and my Dad renovated together. You will note her beloved Kit and Bandit were still with her at the time. Hiding behind the plant, is Deb's Mom!
“Courage is the quality most essential to understanding the Language of the World. “ Deb has always had courage. She has had the courage to speak up for an animal when no one else would. She has had the courage to take action in the face of adversity. With The Chronicles of Zee and Zoey, she immersed herself in her passion for animals, for history, and for teaching, and took a courageous step forward into the world of writing. She bared her soul in the pages of her manuscript and through blog posts on ZeeZoey.com, for the entire world to see. I am not surprised at all by the loving reception into the blog world and pet communities which she has received, because after all, with Zee and Zoey, she is speaking this “Language of the World.” She is part of a community that recognizes the miracles of the everyday, of the moments we can experience the extraordinary. She is part of something that recognizes that “crazy cat lady” really isn’t a bad thing if it means that a difference can be made if your passions are used to make the world better.
While Deb is clearly a cat lover, she has a compassion for all animals. Bandit was a rescue dog of hers that was meant to be a "fluffy purse dog." Bandit was labeled as "difficult" by the rescue people - of course she had no choice but to bring him home. He brought her over 12 years of wonderful memories.
“I thought the Soul of the World was perfect. But later, I could see it was like other aspects of creation, and had its own passions and wars. It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in will be either better or worse, depending on whether we become better or worse. And that’s where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are,” Santiago wisely speaks as he realizes that it is the power within us as human beings, and not the universe, that determines things. As Deb chose to break free from the pitfalls in her life, she began the spinning of a gear so large, I wonder myself if she will ever truly know how many others she has set into motion. By her example, and through many shared moments in the beloved tiki hut, I can truthfully say that because of Deb’s love, our family is so much for the better. At times when Deb could have turned a blind-eye, or avoided an uncomfortable talk, she chose instead to be better, and to in-turn, make those around her better. Zee’s very existence in our lives is because Deb wanted to make Dan’s life better! Her very nature is one of such comfort, nurturance, and love, it is no wonder that animals and humans strive for the extraordinary when she is in their lives.
One of my first visits to Florida - Deb and I in what was to become one of our infamous "tiki-time" talks!
“When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision. “ Looking back, I could never have imagined that Deb’s path would have taken her to this point. What started out as emails I loved to read to my coworkers and to my kindergartners every Friday, now has become part of a Legend. As the Petties approach, (and I am so hoping to see Deb’s blog win), I am immensely proud of her. She had the courage to follow a dream and the persistence to stick to that dream.
“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. You’ve got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense.” The Alchemist was a profound tale, and one that made a lot of sense to me in terms my own endeavors and journey to fulfill my Personal Legend. After spending some time contemplating the overall meaning of the story and the messages contained therein, I realized that these were not lessons I was unfamiliar with. I could have learned these lessons a lot sooner, however, had I spent more time looking around me at the ordinary people in my life, because some of them are on a journey to the extraordinary…
My Dad and Deb - for them the journey from ordinary to extraordinary is only just beginning...
Wow! Extraordinary!!!
— This is just one of the many wonderful reasons I call myself “blessed”.
Crystal, what a wonderful tribute to Deb you have penned in a way that only you could accomplish. I’m literally speechless and find myself grasping for words to express what I feel as a result of what you have written. You never cease to amaze, surprise and delight me with each of the forks in the road of life that you encounter and your incredible interpretation of these moments.
Not only am I amazed by your intuitiveness, but I am reminded again of all the reasons that my life is so wonderful. Thank you for giving Deb’s readers such a wonderful insight into the woman that I love so dearly and call my partner.
The quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe that you love so much, most certainly is a prelude to your destiny: “Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.”
xxxooo
Being a stepmother myself, I can feel how much this post means to you. What a beautiful, moving piece Crystal wrote. How fortunate you are to have each other in your lives.
Very best of luck to you at the Petties!
Thank you Vicky – I still get emotional every time I read it and am so, so blessed for all that I have. 🙂
Such a wonderful and wise post!!! Animal lovers totally rock too!
Brian – you are so right about us animal lovers – we are in a wonderful league all our own! Thank you for stopping by today – we always appreciate your company!
Wonderful! Crystal has very eloquently said what was on her heart. I can see why you are such a special person Deb and you obviously know where your treasure is! You are blessed indeed, as your family is to have you. xox
Thank you Caro – I really had no comprehension of the depth of emotion that was in her heart and her words have touched me profoundly. I did not see myself in the mirror as she did, but, through her words, I see that it really is quite simple – being a kind and genuine person is who I am. I am certainly not perfect, nor do I make all the right decisions in life, but I can always go to bed each and every night knowing I did my best to be a good person throughout the day and it is very comforting to see how she recognized that. I am very, very blessed!
Thank you for the kind words, but really it all comes down to inspiration and what’s in my heart…. with of course some help from my college days as an English lit major. 🙂 Deb, you truly deserve all of the praise… and no matter what happens at the Petties, you’re work is already a remarkable inspiration- what more could anyone want? (Though, you are going to win…) xoxox
Thank you so much Crystal!! As I said, I am already a winner! Notwithstanding that the subject matter was about me, it was a brilliantly written piece of work – your English professors would have been very proud of the analogies you used to tie in my life with the Alchemist. A plus++++
I am so proud of Crystal for writing such a great tribute to her step mother who is in return enriching her life also, by being part of Debs. And for Dan for all his love,help, encouragement and support to Deb. Deb you did it your way. While going through difficult times you turned your life around to enrich others with your great love for animals and stories about them. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And you and Dan continue to share your home and hospitality and love to us all. I am so proud of you Deb for all your accomplishments and Dan for the support you continue to give her. Your home is full of love. I am proud to be Dan’s mother and Crystal’s Grandmother and Debs Other Mom. There is so much talent in this family and its because of all the love and support we have for each other. Go “Deb” the sky’s the limit for you. You have opened doors to new horizons and you have great visions of more to come, I know you will continue. You have much to give and much to share. You are an inspiration to our next generation, be proud.
Well, this has certainly been an emotional day for me – I think I have been crying, but in a good way, all day long!! Thank you so much for your kind words Dotty – I am so happy to be your daughter-in-law and part of your wonderful family. Dan has clearly been my rock and I love him beyond words, but all of you inspire me and your support and devotion has kept me going. I am equally proud of all of us – we all have come so far in our own ways and I do not see that stopping any time soon! Just as my Mom did, you did it as well Dotty, as does Crystal – we are all strong women and we are survivors – believe me, you were all role models and mentors to me. I do not walk this journey alone… xoxoxo
What a wonderful family to know.. And, the article so well written.. making by heart just melt…Phyllis
Awww…. that is so sweet Phyllis – but, you do know, we consider you part of the family now!! 🙂
I can see that a love of the written word and the expression of such runs in the family. This was a most moving and heartfelt post. It brought me to tears. Deb I have always felt that you are a kindred spirit, from us losing our jobs around the same time to being forced to “re-invent” ourselves, to our shared birth signs, love of cats, craziness, etc.
You are truly blessed to have a “bonus daughter” like Crystal…there is so much love in this post that I could just burst!
Superb!
Caren – will there be no rest for the weary!!! Now I have been brought to tears again! Despite that we have just met, in the scheme of things, you know that I consider you a friend that I feel I have known my whole life. Thank your for your caring and sensitive response – Crystal truly is a gift indeed and a daughter to me in every sense of the word. See you soon!!
What a beautiful post, and what a powerful reminder that love is all that matters, and that every moment can be extraordinary if we choose to make it so.
Ingrid – I remember very vividly from your book, Buckley’s Story, that you have the same mindset I do – our cats teach us profound messages, if we care to pay attention to what they say to us. Unconditional love and making the best of each and every day are two of those simple but powerful messages – Crystal was able to capture that message with such meaning and eloquence. Thank you for your kind words and see you soon!
What a great post! So much wisdom throughout!
We love that you all love animals so much. 🙂
Thank you meowmeowmans – it is not hard to love something that is so precious…. animals are part of my soul and thankfully my whole family loves them as much as I do! I know you feel the same and I commend all the wonderful effort you put forth on their behalf at Animal Shelter Volunteer.
Wow, what an amazing post. Deb, you are truly blessed!
I really am blessed Layla and Crystal really is an excellent writer! 🙂
Talk about synchronicity! I’ve loved the book, “The Alchemist” for years now and I’m going through such a huge transition in my life that I decided to dig out my much beloved book because I read it every year to remind me of how life teaches us so many challenges that can be blessed with grace and knowing the “language of the universe.” Crystal you wrote a wonderful an beautiful tribute to your stepmother and I loved how you tied in her love for animals, her passion for history and her determination not to give up when life keeps on throwing us hits. It was really inspiring to learn more about you as well as Deb and how we who love animals DO know the heart of the Universe. I hope you keep on writing posts and your stepmother is an amazing and beautiful woman who has so much depth and soul. Thank you and thank YOU Deb for all that you do.
Wendy – while I don’t always have the time to comment on your site, I do check in now and again to see how you are doing because I feel a bond and connection to you as a person. I feel your pain, compassion, confusion and honesty in each and every post you write – you are both a fragile and delicate flower, and a strong and courageous woman with infinite wisdom and spirit. I felt very strongly that The Alchemist and Crystal’s post would resonate with you – synchronicity indeed – and I am very happy you took the time to stop by and read her post. Thank you for your kind and inspirational words to both Crystal and I, and I thank you as well for all you do.
Today’s the day we have all been waiting for… for me, the mother of this most beautiful and creative child, I have been aware since her moment of birth that she was destined to do great things for the humanity of all God’s creatures. Deb’s life has never been one filled with either monetary wealth or much consistency . Bouncing from state to state was never easy but Deb’s creativity and love of animals always rose to the surface and became her daily means of survival. She could take a box of buttons and a piece of cardboard and turn it into a game which required unbelievable skill to win. But, because it was never in her nature to lose, the rules for playing would change if she felt her opponent was gaining strength on her! One of her first ventures into the world of creativity was to draw dozens of pictures of cats (imagine that!) all over the toilet seat of a rented apartment… with a very red tube of lipstick! That led to the necessity of my painting one entire wall of her bedroom in blackboard paint so she could harmlessly create to her heart’s content!
Deb has actually never varied in her path which has culminated in the most exquisite book she has written about one of her greatest passion in life… her cats. There has never been one single day that we were not owned by at least one of these magnificent creatures. They were never planned, but somehow, we seemed always to be in the right place at the right time to gather one more of them into our fold. They brought us comfort in times of need, joy when there was little available and an unconditional love that made troubles disappear in an instant. Appreciating the world of all things feline has made Deb into a human being they all can be proud of! They have taught her well and she, in turn, will always be their champion.
I embrace the newest members of our family, all of the Powe rclan who now share in our adventures, and am so happy they can see the wonder of this lovely lady… my daughter… my Deb.
No matter the results of today, the pride I have in my daughter will not diminish one bit. This entire family is blessed with her being and all she brings to the lives of those privileged enough to know her. Good luck, Deb, and thank you for being you. Love, mom
To my wonderful and beautiful mother – I cannot possibly do justice to your comments and sentiment to me, other than to say I love you very much and that you continue to inspire and teach me each and every day. My lifes path is because you were such an amazing role model to me – despite all the rough roads and obstacles you had to face (which were too many to count), you always did it with grace, strength, and incredible fortitude. How could I not learn from the example you lead? We do not give up and that is a gene that was clearly passed on to me from you! What ever new journey my life takes, I am blessed at all those who stand by my side, cheering me on! I love you very much and will cherish the amazing warmth and comments I have gotten back from all of my friends and family as a result of this post that Crystal wrote… xoxo
Deb,
I have saved this post for a while now always meaning to read it. Then I met you and told myself I had to read this post already. I was intrigued by the premise of your step daughter writing a post about you.
Wow is all I can say. Your heart must be bursting.
The post only makes me wish MORE that we had had more time together at BLOGPAWS. I hope our paths cross again SOON SO WE can spend more quality time together. I did love our kitty time together though!
Tamar
I HAVE CAT
Single in the city – with cat (S)
Tamar – this means so much to me that you saved this post to read later. I like that you have read it after we met, and I agree with you, I really wish we had more time to spend together! Irene really spoiled everything! I will be attending the CWA Conference, will you?
As far as the post itself, yes, my heart was bursting and I was emotional about it for days… I cannot believe how cherished I am and what a wonderful family I have!
It was such a blast meeting you – you are my kind of girl and I cannot wait to see you again! xoxo to you and your pawsome blog!
WOW! I feel good and bad. I feel slighted at the fact that I knew so little of you all those years ago. Yet I feel good that we have reconnected and I’m getting to know you. You are clearly well liked, well thought of, well respected, and especially well loved. Such a wonderful and fulfilling life you’ve had with much more to come. I now use the words I find in your blog as inspiration and guidance as I now go through some very tough times. I can only hope to find some extraordinary in every day. I thank you for your site, your words, and you for touching all who cross your path. And, of course, I thank the Kitty Kingdom for allowing us humans to interact with you. You are simply awesome!
George –
I can assure you I have had my share of heartache, struggles, and pathes chosen that led me down the wrong road. As I get older, I find that I have learned to perceive life in a different way and I try to focus on all the good I have, rather than the bad. It’s not always easy, but in all truthfulness, my cats have helped me in that process. They have taught me profound messages and keep me centered. I am very blessed to have them, as well as an amazing family that surrounds me with such love and support. I am sorry to hear you are going through tough times – maybe we reconnected for a reason. I am very grateful to hear my blog and words have touched you in a positive way for inspiration and guidance. You just have to be patient with yourself and try your best to be strong. I wish you well and hope you will find a bit of extraordinary in every day!