National Pet Memorial Day – A Time for Tribute, Memories, and Mementos
This is the armoire in our living room – it seemed the perfect image for National Pet Memorial Day, as this is where our beloved Harley, Jazz, Bandit, and Bailey lay in perpetual rest.
When I created the first annual Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day (RBRD) last month to be held on August 28 of each year as a special day to pay tribute to the memories of beloved pets that have passed on, several people pointed out to me that the second Sunday of September is already National Pet Memorial Day (NPMD). I actually did know that when contemplating RBRD, but after much thought and consideration, I still felt that although the two days are similar, there was enough difference and need to warrant both, so I went ahead with it.
National Pet Memorial Day was established over 40 years ago by members of the International Association of Pet Cemeteries and Crematories as a way for people to honor their pets, both past and present. Similar to RBRD, yes, but since the inception of my blog in 2011, my social presence on Facebook, and publishing Purr Prints of the Heart in 2015 after losing Jazz and Harley within a year of each other, I have seen more than enough evidence to know that people absolutely have a need for the concept of a Rainbow Bridge.
Whether it actually exists or not isn’t the point, and I certainly can’t prove that it does one way or another. But what I do know, is that most of us have an innate need to know our pets are in a better place – happy, healthy, surrounded by other pets, waiting for us to be by their side one day, because if we don’t have something like that to believe in when it comes to saying goodbye to them, then it’s almost too unbearable to go on. That is what the Rainbow Bridge is to me – that symbolic place that helps to bring peace and comfort to our broken hearts.
This was me back in 2010 when I began my foray into writing and blogging. By my side, was my angel Kit, the cat that started it all for me. I’ve come to learn so much about grieving and letting go since then.
Life and death itself is far too a complex subject for me to understand and all of us have different beliefs – not everyone believes in the Rainbow Bridge. Some believe in God, Heaven, and Hell and some don’t. Some believe in reincarnation, and some like me, have seen their pets come back to them in spiritual form. I don’t have the answers, but I do believe there is something out there outside of our physical being. The fact that we exist is miraculous enough to me. People, earth, galaxies – I can’t even begin to fathom how it all began, seemingly out of thin air, so when we go, are we just gone? But regardless of our beliefs, and questions without answers, for most of us, the Rainbow Bridge is something we gravitate toward and that is why I created a special day.
I wanted RBRD to be a worldwide, interactive concept where we could share our thoughts, pictures, poems, memories – anything we wanted about our pets that had passed on as a means to encourage loving communication, peace, and healing. Even though it was called Rainbow Bridge Day, honestly, anyone that lost a pet could have participated, whether they believed in the Rainbow Bridge or not. Simply put, between the blog hop and the Facebook event page, the day was meant to be a wonderfully beautiful, giant, social hug to celebrate the memories of our beloved pets and that’s exactly what it turned out to be.
National Pet Memorial Day is more of a personal day for me to remember my pets and it is also a reminder of just how important rituals and keepsakes are when it comes to dealing with grief, letting go, and memorializing the pet in a special way. For example, burying a pet outside in a spot in the yard with special significance, planting a tree to honor a pet, decorating an urn, writing a love letter to the deceased pet, holding a funeral service, making a scrapbook of memories – all of these gestures and so many more provide a sense of meaning and it doesn’t matter whether you believe in God, the afterlife, the Rainbow Bridge or anything else for these acts to be important.
This is my precious Kit near the end of her life. She was a cat I rescued off the streets, and although I did not let her outside, that is where she always longed to be. We buried her in the backyard near some bamboo in tribute to her love of the outdoors.
I have a drawer filled with mementos that I can’t part with – a worn out collar with a bell that belonged to my sweet cat Scrubby. She was nearly blind and was so tiny that sometimes she was hard to find – with the bell on her collar, it made it much easier to know where she was. The drawer also holds dog tags for Bo, Bailey, Meadow, Hobo, and Bandit, along with Bo’s chain collar. I also kept Bailey’s collar, but hers is worn around the neck of a life size Golden Retriever plush dog I have. My ex-husband Bill gave it to me as a way to forever immortalize her, as she was literally my life.
This was me with Scrubby back in 1981. You will note the collar that she is wearing – I still have it today, tucked away in a drawer. It might only look like a collar to some, but to me, it is my way of feeling connected to her and I would never dream of parting with it.
This is the kitties sharing a nap on the bed in the guest bedroom where I keep my plush Golden Retriever, wearing Bailey’s collar. To this day I can’t believe I lost her to cancer at only two years of age and I still miss her like it was yesterday.
In the backyard, two of my dogs were laid to rest – Meadow and Hobo – as well as four cats – Kit, Whitney, Shami, and Tosha . Each of them was buried with a favorite blanket, a love note I had written them, and a special toy. Two of my other dogs, Bandit and Bailey, were cremated and they have a special urn on our TV armoire. Jazz and Harley were also cremated and they have beautiful wooden boxes that I have decorated with special pictures and flowers. We also have Harley’s paw print in plaster and, of course, there is Purr Prints of the Heart where all of my sweet babies have been immortalized.
What about all of you – if you have lost a pet, did you do something special to memorialize them? Do you believe in the Rainbow Bridge or the afterlife? Have you seen a pet come back to you in spirit form? Please feel free to share – you are among friends and it’s a nice way to get our feelings out and talk about them.
I sometimes have too hard a time remembering them without the severe feeling of loss all over. I did pretty good on your day, tonight’s going to be a bad one.
I’m sorry to hear today will be extra tough for you, Connie Marie. My heart is with you and I hope you will be okay.
Yes I believe in the rainbow bridge I lost my cat luck to cancer on February 12th at four in the morning this year still having a hard time not grieving I may never stop grieving for her
Oh Beth, I am so, so sorry at the loss of your beloved kitty in February. The levels of your grief will change, but the pain never truly goes away. My heart is with you…
Ty so much she was a real hero in my eyes she lasted five months from September 12 to February 12th she did not let her bring her down untill the very end but she come to me but she could barely move her legs she shilled to see me the last time in the bathroom & I know she was done for sure enough to. She lied her tried old little body down & that was the end for us oh how I miss her everyday & oh how I could not sleep in my room for almost two weeks untill her & her beautiful box come home so now she is at peace back at home with all us her fur brother painter included but I know somehow her spirit is here I see her shadow come across the night light in the hall way but I see what looks like angel wings flapping it helps me to feel better to know she has not forgotten about us all
Beth – such a heartbreaking story. She truly was a hero and I am so glad to know her spirit is with you and that you feel her around you. Sweet little baby… it was her time… May she rest in peace.
I probely well leave comments from time to time about lucky but I was truly blessed to have her for that long with cancer I thank god every day for giving that chance to take care of such a sweet cat that she was one of a kind too
Deb, I love how you invite everyone to talk about their beloved babies. In a world where grief talk is so avoided because it is so uncomfortable, it is comforting to know that I can always talk with you about my Jewel. I feel you and I are similar in a lot of ways, and I know that you feel the loss of your fur babies as much as I do, and though I hate that you feel that much pain, it comforts me to know that you understand.
My Jewel’s ashes are in a special memorial box on my dresser. I pass her each morning and each night. I also have a framed photo of her there as well as the beautiful charcoal drawing Alana did of her there. I would love to get Jewel a display box where I could display her paw print, collar, etc. someday, too. I, too, could not imagine parting with her collar, tag, paw print, or her favorite toy. They are tangible reminders of my precious baby. Even though I cannot touch her now, I can touch those things and remember her.
As you know, I have seen Jewel around. Others may not believe me, and that is okay, but I know that she visits. It always brightens my day to see her. I just wish she’d stick around for longer periods of time so I could really take in her beauty again or that she’d meow at me so I could hear her. But I am so thankful that she lets me visit, and I am so thankful that I am able to see her. It gives me a lot of comfort.
Hugs to you <3
Thank you Sierra (Fur Everywhere). I know talking about grief can make some people uncomfortable, and I truly understand that. But, for the most part, I think people need a way to share their feelings and I am glad that you feel my blog is a safe and loving forum to do that.
I love everything you have done for Jewel – such personal touches that are yours forever. I am also happy that Jewel comes to visit you – you are very lucky and I know you appreciate those moments so very much.
We are lucky for owning our house and for having a garden. All our angels are in the garden, and each of them has his/her special flower planted on him/her. Mum has no religion, but her beliefs are close to animism and to buddhism in some way, so the picture of the Rainbow Bridge is something she likes. It is very comforting for her to find people with whom she can talk about grief and who understand how you feel when you lose a beloved pet. Purrs
How wonderful that you have a beautiful garden to lay your angels to rest, Swiss Cats. There is just something so peaceful and soothing about a garden memorial.
Deb,
We were deeply moved by the first Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day Event. Purrhaps it was because the day was so personal to us since we had just lost our treasured Dr. Hush Puppy, but reading the posts and comments from so many people who participated in the event gave us so much support and tender feelings that this day will always be emblazoned in our hearts and never forgotten.
Your day was very special and greatly appreciated by so many people who had lost a beloved fur-baby. But what made it so special for us were your words- your compassion, and the love that you have for your Bridge babes set the tone for us to be able to open our hearts and share without any hesitation. Please DO continue this day of mutual love and remembrance with us for many years to come. Much love to you dear friend.
Grrr! Dang you Jo! You always go straight for my heart… now I’m crying like a baby!! What a beautiful, beautiful comment. Thank you so much for your kindness – I am so glad to know the day was special for you. It really was an experience I will never forget – so much love that day…
We are all so very blessed to have had the love of our precious fur-babies and I am delighted to know, on a slightly different topic, that you have added a new furry love to your household. Can’t wait to see all the pictures and hear about all the wonderful adventures that are sure to come!
Deb, I have tissues in hand also!
Mr. Jazz the cat taught me so much- more than you can ever imagine- and I think of his words as I am playing with Edgar Allen Poe- our new kitten. I have no doubt in the world that Dr. Hush Puppy tapped on his shoulder when we entered the Petco store to buy cat food for Sir Hubble Pinkerton. We had no plans to find a kitten that day but something pulled us over to the adoption area and the minute EAP reached his paw out of the cage and touched me- and looked up at me with this sweet little chirp- we were goners… and set out to adopt him right away.
When I was hanging out with EAP this afternoon, he snuggled into my neck and made outrageous cookies. I swear I heard Dr. Hush Puppy tell EAP to take good care of us- and shower us with love.
I ain’t kidding, sweetie. Thanks for your heart -felt reply to me. Love ya
Jo – this is so, so touching. I guess your EAP is the Jazmine to my Mr. Jazz. Enjoy your sweet baby, my dear friend.
That was a great post Deb. I posted about this long, long ago, but we know Sister Sascha is our kitty Bethie that came back to be with us. Outside of her looks, everything else is the same, her likes, her dislikes, her attitude, any her mannerisms.
Thank you Brian – I do remember that about your Sister Sascha and I think that is just so wonderful that you have Bethie in that way.
Beautiful posting Deb.
Thank you Annabelle.
A lovely post. I have a Memorial Garden where all my cats are buried. Each has a rose planted above them. The rose is as appropriate as I can find for each cat’s colouring.
No-one knows for sure if there really is a Rainbow Bridge, but we have to believe that there is and that we will be reunited when it is our turn.
Eric does come back to visit. The first time I saw him it was so startlingly obvious that it was him. Since then it is just a glimpse from the corner of my eye, but I know it is him.
That is beautiful, Flynn. Eric was such a sweet boy and we have no doubt he comes back to visit.
There’s a great quote by Cleveland Amory: “…do animals go to heaven? I do believe that we and our animals will meet again. If we do not, and where we go is supposed to be heaven, it will not be heaven to me and it will not be where I wish to go.”
And I feel the same way.
~Island Cat Mom
I agree 100% Island Cats – what a touching quote. I remember I asked Jackson Galaxy during an interview I conducted with him back in 2012 before the 2nd season of Animal Planet’s My Cat From Hell was set to begin that he said something similar. Here is the excerpt:
Deb: “Jackson, this was so much fun, but I know we have to start wrapping things up. Last question – the title of your show is My Cat From Hell. What about Heaven? If it exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?”
Jackson: “I really don’t need to hear God say anything, but my worst nightmare would be if I got there and there were no cats and dogs. I would be lost without them.” – I asked what would be the
I found a beautiful little glass box with a slot for a photo on the ttop.I inserted one of Tamsinblu’s baby pics and placed her ashes inside.I buried Kalli at the edge of a wooded area near our house and planted a little Clorado spruce to mark her resting place.
That’s absolutely beautiful, Jean. Thank you so much for sharing.
I am not sure what is meant by “moderation”
I’m not sure what you are referencing, Jean. Perhaps you are taking about the form to submit comments on my blog? Sometimes with WordPress, if it does not recognize an email, it will request that I approve and moderate the comment.
Since our culture is not one that cremates, our babies are laid to rest at the pet cemetery at one of the shelters where we volunteer: Wayside Waifs.
We get to donate to a worthy cause as well as visit them often.
I know I never wished for reincarnation to be real more than when I lost Ryker….
Maxwell, Faraday, and Allie – the cemetery at Wayside Waifs sounds beautiful and it is so nice that you donate to a worthy cause. And yes, I completely understand your heartfelt sentiment regarding Ryker…
I have to believe in the Rainbow Bridge or else I would find it impossible to go on.
I have never gotten rid of even the smallest toy that my cats have left behind. All of their things have gone into a box all their own after they’ve passed.
Truffles is the first cat I’ve had cremated because I couldn’t bear not having her in the house. Her box of ashes and clay pawprint is in a prominent place in my living room right beside a piece of artwork of her.
I know exactly what you mean, Melissa. I am grateful for the Rainbow Bridge and I do hope that all our sweet babies are up their together, waiting for us to arrive one day.
Deb this was a beautiful post. I loved seeing that photo of you when you were young (is it possible that you are even better looking, NOW!? Geeze!!)
I have some of Bobo’s fur in a heart-shaped porcelain box that I STILL can barely look at. I have his bowls, some of his toys. Of course his ashes in an urn. I just wish I had HIM.
xoxo
catchatwithcarenandcody
Thank you Caren – Scrubby was probably the sweetest cat I ever had. Not a mean spirited bone in her tiny little body and I don’t think she ever once even hissed!
I wish you had Bobo too… I wish none of them ever had to go. xoxox
Deb. I know for a fact dude and sauce reside in heaven, sauce is now with who I believe is his original
person; dude with weezer and bum ( my grandparents ) While neither are buried on my property; they both
are at Petrest along with some of the dogs; I did bury their favorite toys; each has their own “garden”
Dude’s garden has catnip growing in it; he LOVED catnip, and it grows there profusely; amazingly enough
~~~~~ I never planted it their to begin with ~~~~~~ ♥♥♥