Grateful Words for Wednesday – A Special Thank You From Mr.Jazz
Hey Everyone! It’s me, Mr. Jazz from the Bridge, and I just wanted to take a minute to thank all of you for the overwhelming outpouring of support, love, and compassion you have given me and my fellow feline and human family since my passing last week. I am so touched by your kindness and mere words could not possibly express the gratitude I feel for the beautiful comments you left on our blog and other outlets to express your condolences.
I know my human Mom is not doing so well since she posted my tribute a couple days ago. She tries to put up a brave front, but she sees me everywhere in her mind and throughout the house. When she put away the laundry, it reminded her of the clothes she was wearing in her final moments with me. When she did the vacuuming, she saw me resting on so many places on the floor. She feeds the other cats dinner and my bowl remains empty. I am everywhere she looks and she can’t stop thinking about me.
I want to tell her that I am okay and I know she loved me very much and gave me the most wonderful and loving life possible. I have no regrets – I lived a long and full life, with each and every day filled with good food, clean litter, a warm lap to nap on, and so many loving caresses and tender words from her. She needs to know that I understand it was her deep love of me that is what gave her the strength and courage to let me go. I am not mad at her, quite the opposite, I am so proud of her for putting my needs and comfort ahead of hers.
And now here I am, surrounded by so many amazing kitties and doggies, including my old fur family members that I shared a home with, Kit, Shami, Whitney, Bandit, Bailey, Meadow, and Hobo. Everyone, old friends and new, have welcomed me with open paws and have made me feel young again. I am without pain now and we all play and run free and it truly is extraordinary, so please don’t be sad human Mom. I know you miss me and that is okay. I miss you too – I miss human Dad and Harley and Kizmet who were with me to the very end, offering me comforting purrs of support and I miss my buddies, Zee, Zoey, Mia, Peanut, and Rolz.
Look how cute I was! This was me back in 1999 with my fur buddies Kit and Shami. I have already met up with them at the Bridge and we are having so much fun sharing old memories!
I also know you are feeling a rush and conflict of emotions by letting me go – love, relief, anger, guilt, heartache, despair, calm, and everything in between. But truth be told, I was just so, so tired and it was time for me to go. I kept hanging on, but I was already gone, and you knew that deep down in your heart and that is why letting me go was an eternal gift that I will forever be grateful for.
You will forever have me in your memories and you have so many wonderful pictures of me to look at – the human Dad took so many great photos of me and when you are ready to look at them, they will be there. And I know you will still keep me as part of the blog and I will always have a special chapter devoted just to me in the book you wrote in honor of us kitties – I know it makes you cry to look at all of this now, but one day when the pain starts to fade, you will be so glad you have all these visual reminders of me.
Just know that the weight and burden of my dying days has been lifted from me and I am so thankful for all of you who let my human know you understood her pain and heartache in letting me go. So many of you have been in her shoes and she is forever humbled and genuinely grateful for the outpouring of sympathy and support you gave her.
All I ask is that you try to remember that life is finite. Love, treasure, and appreciate what you have in your lives as if it might be your last day. And when you lose a beloved pet like me, don’t be closed minded, afraid to feel love again – open your hearts and homes when the time is right to another pet one day who needs a forever home. I promise it will not dilute the love you had for us, quite the opposite – it will fill our hearts with joy knowing you have given another creature a chance to love you the same way we did.
Blessings to you all and until we meet again, your forever friend, Mr. Jazz
Don’t live your life looking over your shoulder in regret. Embrace and celebrate the now moments in your life and in the spirit of the Zee/Zoey gang – “embrace the ordinary in your life and dare to make it extraordinary. ” Peace out buddy, we love you so much…
What a beautiful message, Mr. Jazz. We will remember that…and make sure our mom remembers it, too.
Miss Deb, we know you have a Mr. Jazz size hole in your heart right now. We hope you can fill it with all the good memories that you have of him….and your tears will turn to smiles when you think of him. Purrs……
Thank you so much for your kind comment, Island Cats!
Such a wise and beautiful message, from your wise and beautiful heart, Mr. Jazz. We will remember you always, and are sending hugs, purrs, prayers and love to your family.
Thank you so much for your kind words, meowmeowmans!
I cried all over again. Thank you for the reminder about the whole chapter dedicated to Jazz in your book. To soften the tears, I walked over to my library and picked up the book, opening it to Chapter 3 and read it in its entirety. Mr. Jazz such a befitting name for a glorious breed. He is at peace now and for sure playing with Kit, and Shami and Meadow and Bandit….
Remember Deb, he wants you to be happy. Grieve at your pace in your own way. We are here for you. Sending you purrs and positive energy.
Oh Christine… such a lovely comment… thank you. I still can’t open that chapter up, but one day I will and while I know it will make me cry, I also know it will bring me enormous joy to remember how much love he brought into my life. xoxo
Love you guys….ALL of you. Snot and tears everywhere….just my way of showing human mom and dad that I understand.♥
Nothing like some good old-fashioned snot and tears! Mr. Jazz would be very appreciative… thank you Abby and love to the humans and Roxy too!
This is a wonderful message. It made me teary-eyed. I will always remember you, Jazz!
Awww… sorry for the tears, Britney, but thank you for your kindness!
Such a sweet, comforting message. Thank you for reminding us…
You are very welcome, Amy! Thank you for your kind words…
This is such a lovely message, Deb and something for all us humans to remember and cherish from our furry loved ones who have gone before. Beautiful! xox
Thank you Carolyn.. I am glad you appreciated the message… xoxox
What a great message of love you bring Mr. Jazz to those of us still on this side of The Bridge. I know it’s a beautiful place and I’m not afraid of going there one day myself even though I know my Mom and Dad will be very sad when that day comes. Your legacy of love will warm Miss Deb’s heart always – that love is truly the gift that keeps on giving….both ways. Thanks for stopping by – may your days be sunny and bright and full of fun – I’ll be sure to look you up when I get there – I think you’d make a wonderful friend.
Kitty Hugs, Sammy
Oh Sammy – such a sweet and brave boy you are! Even though I look forward to sharing some bacon with you, I hope it is not for a long, long time… Enjoy you time on earth and see you when the time is right…
Wise words from a feline teacher. And dear Deb, please know it’s okay to feel sad, and any other emotion during the tumultuous time called the grieving process. (((hugs)))
Thank you Layla, and yes, it is okay to feel sad or any other range of emotion. Such is the circle of life in loving a pet…
Beautiful message Mr. Jazz. Mom Paula knows the emotions your mom is feeling because she had to help Sweet Praline cross the bridge two years ago at 15 years of age. She felt Sweet Praline’s presence for several months and once even saw Praline looking at her in the hallway. Mom Paula would feel Sweet Praline’s soft fur brush against her leg at night when she was on the computer. Sweet Praline visited quite often those 5 months before Truffle came to live with Mom Paula. Sweet Praline will always be in Mom Paula’s heart, but we know Sweet Praline is pain-free and living the life of luxury at the bridge and will be waiting for all of us when it’s our time.
We’re sending our comforting purrs to you, Deb!
Oh Sweet Purrfections… how the human here can relate. She still feels the imprint of Mr. Jazz across her body at night when she goes to bed… Thank you for your understanding and comforting purrs…
Dear Mr. Jazz, we’re so glad to hear from you, and we know you’re, well, you are in a better place than we can understand where we are! That empty food bowl is always a heart-rending moment, and I still keep the clothes I was wearing when…and I rarely wear them again. We humans go through all those moments over and over as part of our healing, for they hurt just a little less each time, though at first it doesn’t seem so. One of these days you’ll see her lips turn up into a bit of a smile at a memory, and you’ll know she’s on her way. But it takes a lot of work.
Glad you’re feeling fine and enjoying a reunion with family! Just keep sending your love to your humans, especially your mom, and say hello to a few friends of ours.
Bernadette – a smile… it seems so far away as a possibility, but I do know what you mean and know that Mr. Jazz would want me to feel joy and happiness in my life again…
Such great advice Mr. Jazz. I hope that someday I will be able to heed your words. For now I am with Deb, I see Mewdy Blue everywhere and in every minute of every day. I know he is there with you and so many of my lovely kids.
Andrea – I imagine I will most likely see him everywhere, every minute of the day like you do with Mewdy Blue…. Despite the wise words of Jazz, it is hard to not to see him…
((((purrs and hugs))))
Thank you Texas!
What a heartfelt post from Mr. Jazz. He expressed so beautifully what our mom has always felt when one of our kitties has become an angel. She always has room in her heart for another kitty in need without ever forgetting or losing any of the love and devotion she has felt for the kitty who has moved to the RB. Mr. Jazz was so smart. The final photo of this post really shows how magnificently handsome he was as well. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo
Kitties Blue – Mr. Jazz truly was a wise soul and he would be very happy to know that your heart always has room to love another beautiful kitty…
Thank you Mr Jazz. I sobbed again after reading your words. Its been 2 years and I’m still not over the loss of my 16 year old cat Pecheecho. A lot happens between the years of 28 and 44 and Pecheecho was always there, as Im sure Jazz was for his human. Pecheecho and I experienced the kitty hospice. For six months my house was filled with pee pads and I only left to work and didn’t socialize with anyone but Pecheecho. I’m still not over his death. I feel that as a human, I should’ve done more. Jazz’s tribute is helping me process my grief, but I will still carry that cat with me in my heart wherever I go. Jazz’s tribute means so much to me. I hope Jazz and Pecheecho meet in the Rainbow bridge and I hope they are enjoying sharing tales about their crazy, loving humans.
Oh Rhonda… I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Pecheecho… I don’t know that we ever get over the loss and there are no magic words to make the pain go away, but I am glad that Mr. Jazz was able to help process your grief in some way… My heart aches with you. Thank you for stopping by to share your comment.
I was unable to comment when I first read this, because I was crying too hard. Mr Jazz, thank you for writing this for your people. I still hope that I somehow will get a note from my beloved Casey-cat, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge last February at almost 20 years old (even though I know that’s silly). We never have enough time with you precious furones. I hope your people will read your words over and over and know how much you loved your time with them and that you’re waiting for them when it’s their time to join you. Please say hello to my precious girl for me and tell her that her mama misses her so very much!
PS – If your people would like to read my tribute to my Casey-cat written right after she crossed, they can find it here: http://allyra.livejournal.com/496490.html
Amy – I will take a look at your tribute when I feel up to it. I am still feeling a bit raw, so can completely understand you having difficulty reading this and commenting yourself. I hope Casey-cat and Mr. Jazz can spend some time together and I really appreciate you stopping by to share your heartfelt feelings.
Amy, I loved your story too. I could never find any grief outlets for the death of my precious kitty and now nearly 2 years later, these written tributes are helping so much. I’d found some relief on the facebook page, Letters to Pushkin, but these specific stories from women who bonded for 15 + years w their cats is helping me.
Your story of how you become Casey’s mom is similar to how I found Pecheecho. Like I said, a lot happens between the years of 28 and 44. In my 20s, I thought I was daring and adventurous when I married an illegal alien who wanted to take me back to his country as his bride. This marriage turned out to be a disaster, but out of this marriage, I did acquire my cat. I met Pecheecho thru my ex husband, who found him as a stray in a trailor park where many non Americans lived. This trailor park was actually very lively and full of love and hard working people, but the locals in my area had dubbed it the “Mexican trailor park”, even though the residents were from many other countries as well.
Well, like you and your ex h, mine and I split and he insisted the cat was his. He’d given the cat latino cat name and said the cat belonged to him. A week later, my ex ends up in jail and the cat ends up w me.
So, there I was, a broken 28 year old, already getting divorced and feeling cynical about the rest of my life. Pecheecho nurtured me through that. He also nurtured me through my 30s and even my 40s! I moved 10 times and went through countless jobs and different schedules and no matter what, he was there.
He developed kidney disease at age 13 and it never got bad until his last 6 months. I couldn’t let go either, and he wanted to live. People who never even saw him but heard about him, were telling me it was kinder to put him to sleep…but he wanted to live and he tried so hard to live. He started eating the purreed carrots and broccoli I made him and he wanted to live to be with me. The only people who can judge when the right time to let go is the cat and his/her human and our intertwined intuition will tell us when its right. Pecheecho crossed the Rainbow Bridge while I was at work and I came home to find him passed away on his favorite chair. I think he had tried to pass while on my lap, but I would call out his name and would cry, so I think he knew the best way to pass was while I was away.
Ive since adopted/rescued a cat from the SPCA, but I feel too feel anger at this cat, that she’s not Pecheecho. She is a tuxedo like he was, but she’s not him. I’m feeling crazy because I want to adopt all the cats who look like him, but I have to stop myself because I could adopt all the tuxs in the world and it wont bring him back.
I like that you feel that Casey is your guide. I believe too that Pecheecho is my guide and I don’t know if its my imagination or not, but I can sometimes feel him. I definitely felt him in the weeks just after his death.
I had one weird moment, the day I took his remains out of my house and to the per cremation center. When I returned to my empty house, I swear I heard meowing..in his voice.
I like to think that he helped me find my most current cat. She’d been at the spca for a year and was very sad.
She also happens to look like him, so I imagine Pecheecho in cat heaven saying “See, I got you a nice kitty.”
I may have another cat, but I’ll never be young again, growing into adulthood with a broken past and my current kitty will never have to be there for me the way Pecheecho was.
Anyway, thank you Amy for your story about Casey. Our similarities w our stories warmed my heart.
Well, Rhonda, you certainly just wrote a wonderful tribute of your own to your darling Pecheecho! Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s amazing how these precious souls touch our lives so deeply. I’ve finally gotten over being resentful toward all the other cats in the house and now can accept their amazing love gratefully. It’s funny – I often think I see Casey looking at me from Squeaker’s eyes! If you’re interested, I posted another entry about Casey, a few days after she crossed: http://allyra.livejournal.com/497062.html I figure most people will think I’m crazy, but that’s okay. 🙂
I’m so very glad you wound up getting to keep your Pecheecho after all and that he was with you through thick and thin. And I’m sure he sent you your nice kitty!
I think when we bond with our critters on such a deep level, we never truly get over losing them. I was in hysterical tears night before last over Casey, and it’s been more than 6 months.
Two things I’ve found very comforting: making a picture memorial book for Casey (I used Picaboo) and reading a copy of Soul Comfort for Cat Lovers by Liz Eastwood. I also plan to make a memory book of stories about my Casey-cat. My mother gave me a beautiful rainbow-esque journal that will be perfect for that.
Thanks for your story – funny how similar it is to mine! – and I hope Deb doesn’t mind our using her site to communicate!