August 28 – First Annual Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day Blog Hop to Honor Pets Who Have Passed On
Mr. Jazz – my forever muse and beautiful boy. I will love you always and not a day goes by that I don’t miss you.
When I wrote the book Purr Prints of the Heart – A Cat’s Tale of Life, Death, and Beyond – a book written after saying goodbye on August 28, 2013 to my beloved Ragdoll companion cat, Mr. Jazz, who had lived to the age of 15, I did it with the purpose of wanting to help others who had lost a pet and were having difficulty with the grieving process. I knew full well after publishing the story that I would subject myself to people contacting me to discuss their innermost feelings of grief and pain, as I knew the manner in which I wrote the story would be something that would deeply resonate with most anyone that had lost a pet.
I can’t say it’s always been easy having to deal with the pain of others – often I have enough trouble dealing with my own after the loss of Jazz in 2013, and then Harley unexpectedly in 2014, but truthfully I’m not complaining – quite the contrary. While I never like to hear someone has lost a pet, death is an inevitable part of life and I think having an outlet to talk about it is healthy and important. If I can help someone feel better in even the smallest of ways, then I’m okay with being that outlet.
On the anniversary date of Jazz’s death – a full two years later – I ponder the irony of it all. Me, writing a book about grieving. I have always been a very private and shy person – sharing my feelings was not in my nature and I’ve always been the kind of person who preferred to live in denial. I’ve had countless pets over the course of my lifetime, so naturally I’ve have countless times I’ve had to say goodbye – by burying my feelings of grief deep inside me, perhaps they really didn’t go. It just seemed easier that way.
My last final moments with Jazz at home. I was so very blessed to be able to say goodbye to him and to let him know how very much he was loved. At my feet were Kizmet and Harley who seemed to understand Jazz had to go.
But, since I elected to write a book that deals with the subject of death in such an honest and forthright fashion, it has caused me to be much more open with my feelings, and I have come to the conclusion that dealing with them, rather than avoiding them, is actually healthier in the long run, and far more respectful to the memory of that pet. The process is one that is easier said than done, but I find having that mindset eventually brings a sense of peace to the relationship, allowing one to focus on precious memories that can never be taken from the heart.
Writing Purr Prints was not always easy – I broke down many a time in mid-sentence. But, ultimately, it provided me the peace and comfort I needed by helping me process my feelings of denial and grief.
All of this has caused me significant reason to reflect and I realize that how we grieve as a society has changed. Years ago, if a pet passed on, some people would be ridiculed for grieving or there would be the standard responses from friends, family, or co-workers who just didn’t get it – “It’s just an animal,” “You’ll get over it in time,” or “Just get another pet, what’s the big deal?” Some people would understand and offer more comforting words, but in general the loss of a pet was a topic that was not brought up.
When Harley passed, I was so devastated that I couldn’t tell my co-workers because I just knew they wouldn’t understand my pain. I was grateful to have the love and support of all of my friends on Facebook and my blog to help me process my feelings.
Through the constant barrage of social media that is my life, along with my own experiences, I know there are far more of us that understand the loss of a pet than those that don’t and I am grateful for that change. For those of us that love our pets, they are everything. They are beloved companions; often of greater significance than certain people in our lives and the grief we feel when we have to say goodbye can be devastating. Time might soften the pain, but it never truly goes away.
For many of us, having the support of others who understand our pain is helpful to getting through the mourning process. We want to share our emotions on platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and blogs and we are not ashamed of the depth of our feelings. That is how and why I decided a day to honor those memories in a more universal sense was in order.
Almost like a giant, worldwide hug of comfort, I came up with the concept of Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day – an annual event to take place on August 28 in tribute to Mr. Jazz who has been my guiding light through this new direction in my life. Naturally the day will have sadness – but it’s my hope it will also be a day of celebration – a day of celebrating and respecting the memories of those dearly departed pets that always hold a loving spot in our hearts.
There are no rules or guidelines for the day – I just want it to be a safe and comfortable platform for people to share pictures, or poems, or blog posts, or a favorite story about their pet(s) without concern of judgement. You can participate quietly from afar or you can interact in every aspect possible. The only request I have is that you take the time to be kind to yourself – your pet knew how much you loved them and they hold no grudges that they had to move on. Revel in the memories of the good times you shared – for however long or short their time on this earth was.
I miss each of my babies ever so much and wish they could all be with me forever. But if we did not let go, we also would not get to say hello to the new babies and the new memories – each pet so wonderfully special and unique in their own individual ways. RIP to you all – until we meet again one day…
Peace to all – thank you for making this a special day and heartfelt condolences to all of you that have had to say goodbye to a beloved pet. For those of you that have opened your hearts and homes to love a pet again, please be sure to give them extra love and hugs today, as each moment we are blessed to have with them is so very precious.
Thank you again – for those participating in the blog hop, please add your link below. To participate in the Facebook event page, please click here. For the Google+ event link, please click here.
One final reminder – today is one of the last days to participate in a fundraiser that is near and dear to my heart. During the month of August, 10% of the proceeds of the sales of Purr Prints of the Heart will go to Cat Care Society – a rescue that my treasured friend, Sierra Koester of Fur Everywhere volunteers for. Sierra lost her beloved Jewel on August 28, 2014 – one year after Mr. Jazz, so this fundraiser is especially meaningful to both of us. Please click here for purchasing details.
Thank you Deb for this. I couldn’t talk about them all, it was good to talk about the ones I still cry over, at the drop of a hat.
I didn’t mean to sound off , it’s just we’ve seen more than if we hadn’t tried to help the lost kitties.
Now I’m rambling, I always feel I said to much or the wrong words. Feeling guilty about feeling better?
I need more recovery time!!!
Thank you, Deb.
Purrs for Mr Jazz ~ and for so many of our beautiful friends, loved and lost over many years.
All have left a impression on us, we have been honored to know them.
The idea to create such a deeply personal day for all who have fur babies at the Bridge where they can share, remember, celebrate our beloved is lovely of you Deb. I feel the same about some people who do not recognize or think of their animals as family members being unsupportive or someone I feel comfortable sharing my true feelings around. Times have changed in how animals are seen than in the past, but there are still a lot who think of pets as ‘just an animal.’ One worthy benefit and use of social media is the coming together of others with similar interests and thoughts, and Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day is a perfect one for the animal loving and rescue community. I have been involved in the community for almost 6 years and met more amazing, compassionate, giving, and loyal people than I have any where else in my life. I know when I reach out to friends here that I do not have to worry that I will be ridiculed or seen as crazy for explaining how I still have moments of intense grief after losing my last fur baby, even though in January it will be two years since she went to the Bridge. Even though I know I can share my memories and thoughts at any time with any of my fellow pet parent friends, today will be especially helpful in that I will have lots who are going through and feeling the same feelings I am. Just knowing this is reassuring that I am not alone in my deep loss and seeing all the beautiful tributes leaves me further comforted that one day I WILL be reunited with my loved ones at the Bridge alongside so many of these same pet parent friends.
We are so happy to be able to participate in this very special event and thank you for putting it all together. All the wonderful memories will never fade away.
A wonderful day to remember…………we always have them with us of course but talking and sharing what we sometimes keep wrapped up in side us tucked away in private places helps us cope with remembering the loss. Sending you and everyone who is participating a BIG HUG…………
Love, Sammy and Mom Pam
I was so touched when I heard about this event and your inspiration. And so glad to be able to participate.
Hugs to you. My facebook friends helped me when Squeaky passed away.
so well said…..thank you for doing this for everyone and putting yourself out there
Mr. Jazz was a handsome guy, I wish I had been reading blogs back when you wrote about him. Thank you for sharing your story of grief and giving others a place to do the same.
This is a wonderful day to remember our dear friends who have passed but still are deep in our hearts. Thank you for giving words to so many feelings that, at times, we cannot express. It is a great help and reward to know that the love we have for our four footed friends is not something that should be hidden but shouted to the skies.
Our belief is that we shall all meet again one day. Complicated thought comes with this but we are corporeal and who knows what wonders await.
Thank You so very very much
Dad Pete, Timmy, Family and Angels
I lost my baby Tyler a few days back. I’ve put my feelings down in the form of a poem. I hope some people will relate to how I feel.
The grief runs deep and the sorrow long but my Tyler you will be in my heart till my life is gone
. https://pennyfernandes.wordpress.com/2015/08/28/goodbye-my-little-one/
What a wonderful idea to commemorate all our loves at the Rainbow Bridge. This day, we join in with the memories for our six at the Bridge.
The NuBoys, the Gurrl Hope and Mom Karen at Kittens n Things
Thanks for putting this event together, Miss Deb. I’m sure it will be a bittersweet day for many humans, including my mom.
Simply : Thank you Deb.
Thank you so much for organizing this special day to remember our precious angels.
Thank you for creating this day so we can all honour those we love so much and who wait for us at the Rainbow Bridge.
Thank you for this day, Deborah, and Mr. Jazz.
You have helped so many people by giving us an opportunity to share about our Rainbow Bridge babies. It is with a lump in my throat and many tears flowing that I offer these thanks to you and Mr. Jazz.. His words have been of great comfort to me, my husband Marty, and our beloved kitty, Sir Hubble Pinkerton – who is lost without his brother Dr. Hush Puppy- but Mr. Jazz’s words helped our family to deal with our tremendous loss. Much love to you.
Thank you for hosting this important, very special day.
Deb, Thanks for hosting this tribute day for our pets. It gave me an opportunity to tell a story that I wasn’t sure I’d ever share. ♥
Thank you for hosting this; it’s so great to have a community where we can share our memories with one another on such a personal subject.