The Road to Happiness and Well-Being is the Love of a Cat
My school picture back in 1968 when I was 8 years old.
They say a picture can tell a story, but sometimes that is not always the case and the image can be misleading. For example, the above picture of me was taken back in 3rd grade when I was 8 years old. I had posted it on Facebook a couple days ago for “Throw-back Thursday” and on the surface, the picture is one that evokes a reaction of “Aww” from most people because admittedly, I do look rather sweet, precious, and innocent. A lovely moment captured in time of cherished days gone by…
But, believe it or not, I was not looking for that “Aww” moment, but rather I wanted to invite some honest conversation about a subject that plagued me most of my childhood – bullying. I figured if it happened to me, that it had probably happened to a lot of you and so this was the comment/question I shared with the photo to get the ball rolling and make my point:
Throw back Thursday – this was me when I was in 3rd grade. I was wearing thick, coke-bottle glasses in a cat’s eye style and back then it was NOT COOL. I was picked on and bullied for wearing glasses and am so thankful that nowadays kids can wear glasses without it being a big deal! I think maybe that’s why I love my cat ears and my leopard look – I wear what I want and I no longer care what people think of me! Did any of you get picked on when you went to school?
I suspected I would get a comment or two, but I was genuinely surprised at how many people opened up to share their own stories of bullying and my heart went out to each and every one of them because the picture and comment I shared of me was just a hint of the story. A story that was actually about a painfully shy girl who was always made fun of for being the shortest one in class, a girl who was traumatized by gym class because she was not athletic and was always picked last to be on any team, and a girl who was terrified of having anyone pay attention to her because of her shortcomings.
A girl who later turned into a teenager with very little self-esteem (with one particularly scarring memory of being rated a “zero” on a scale of one to ten by some boys in school as she walked by them). This was the story of a girl who did nothing to deserve any of the wrath of her peers and would come home from school crying from the emotional pain of it all.
In the case of this picture, it truly does tell the full story. It is as simple as the fact that Kizmet loves me unequivocally and I share the blessed sentiment.
As people began to share their stories (of a wide range of types of bullying), some common threads seemed to emerge – we all moved on and it seemed to make us stronger people in the long run, we didn’t dwell on it and hold a grudge, and for many of us, our cats got us through the pain. This, of course, is hardly a surprise to us cat lovers. We know that our cats provide us with the nonjudgmental love and companionship we want – a safe refuge to just be ourselves without being picked on and while I certainly don’t have any scientific data to prove it, my gut is telling me that perhaps those people who bullied us in our childhoods were somehow compensating for their own insecurities and that is why they preyed on what they perceived as our weaknesses.
Perhaps if they had the responsibility of caring for a pet and receiving the kind of love that they give us, they would have been kinder, happier, and more compassionate people. I really don’t know, but I do know that as a result of being bullied, I will always be a kinder and more compassionate person myself because it has given me an eternal sense of empathy towards others.
That type of mindset keeps me centered, focused, and appreciative of the simple things in life. Like my favorite part of the day when my work is done and I am finally sitting on the couch to unwind before bed. I will always have a cat on my head and one, two, three or more sitting on my legs, my lap, or within my vicinity. They serve as a humble reminder that the important things in life are those that can’t be measured by subjective labels such as being considered popular, attractive, successful, or anything else. The love of a cat is bully free and while the picture I shared might appear to have dredged up bad memories for me, truly it has not.
You can’t see my face, but this is me any given night of the week! How lucky am I to be surrounded by so much pure kitty love!
I love that I have preserved and I love that so many of my friends that have been down the same road as me have become better people as a result of it as well. We know that our actions – whether physical, emotional, or verbal can last a lifetime of impression and it causes us to be much more considerate of how we interact with the world at large.
So that’s it… a bit of a reflective post today. Happy Caturday to you all – now go give all those kitties of yours a hug from me and if you feel like sharing your own stories about bullying (if you have one) to get it off your chest, please do. You are in good company and I consider our sharing like having a cup of coffee with a beloved friend!
Critter love can make all the differences. It’s just a shame not everyone experiences that love.
That is so true, the love of the animals is just the greatest. It doesn’t matter what animal as it is just great. Love the picture of all the cats on top of you. Take care.
I missed this on Fb but will share. Bullying didn’t get the media attention it does now but this made me think about the kinds of bullying. Being ignored by peers can be just as hurtful as being picked on. It’s clear from your photo you exude a shy vulnerability. I wore glasses too but instead of being picked on, I wasn’t picked for anything. Being ostracised and left out can be just as bad. Like you, it’s no wonder I gravitated towards the unconditional love of pets.
Yes, I was ostracized as well, Layla, and that kind of pain goes deep to the core. We all want to be accepted and even in my adult years, I have been victim to that sort of circumstance… Thank goodness for our pets!
Bullying of any kind is wrong, so hurtful. 🙁
You are one busy woman. Was just reading last month’s post on working two jobs. 🙂
You’re so true ! We love the picture of you covered by cats ! Purrs
Mommy was bullied. She would never think of bullying others, knowing the pain she felt growing up. And one of her old friends astounded her when they said “we all liked your sense of humor and your poetry”. Then why did they focus on the not so nice stuff about her? She has, all her adult life, liked to point out and remark on positive things about others. It is very appropriate (and appreciated) what ever your age! That’s what she learned because of being bullied! Maybe that’s why we love her. The positive stuff she likes.
And she still wears glasses!
Quinn, Carol, and Catitude – we love your Mommy too and always try to point out positive things in others as well. Kindness does not cost a thing, but the effects are so far reaching.
A cat will never bully his or her peeps. Cats do what cats do best… LOVE. If only peeps would learn a lesson or two from us cats, huh?
Purrs,
Nissy
Deb Barnes, you are one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met.
You are so brave to share your feelings! Life is so unfair….sometimes cruel. Having to endure does make better, stronger, more empathetic people and our paths do not cross by accident. I’m so thankful that our paths crossed. I’m so thankful for you!
Thank you Toni – unfortunately bullying appears to be something far too many people have had to endure. But thankfully it tends to make most of us that were victims, vehicles for change. I am grateful our paths have crossed as well and I am really grateful you did not get hurt over the weekend in that car accident.
We give unconditional love…and only ask for love in return. Purrs…..
i was harassed nearly mercilessly all through out my school years. My mother worked in the school system and has told me that the teachers said my class was one of the worst one they had seen for bullying and harassment. As we come upon our 25th reunion my class is doing reunions which I refuse to participate in, but this year they are fund raising to help combat bullying, which only makes me laugh with the irony. I can’t help but wonder if they are just jumping on the ‘stop bullying’ bandwagon because it is cool or because now that they have children of their own they can actually see the damage inflicted by bullying (and wonder if they recognized what they did)
I am so sorry to hear how rough your school years were, Connie. It takes a lot of strength to let it go and I know for me, sometimes something will trigger a knee jerk reaction in me from something that happened when I was younger. I don’t know the answer to your reunion fund-raiser but I do hope they are doing it for the right reasons…
Thank you for being so frank, Deb. There doesn’t seem to be any one thing that makes someone a bully or bullied. I was made fun of because I was skinny and very pale and had a big nose! I was very anxious and nervous and just wanted to melt into the background. I was athletic, though, and that saved me, possibly, from complete depression! You are right, you can turn these very negative experiences into something really positive and move on and be strong. Sadly, not everyone can do that. Animals accept you as you are. They don’t care about looks, prestige or money or fame. They just want feeding, gentleness and someone to care. They teach us a lot. xox
I understand what you mean, Carolyn. Sometimes I wanted to be completely invisible… especially during gym class. To make matters worse, I could not swim and was terrified of the water… Having all my classmates stare and laugh at me was mortifying!
You described TW and why she’s still so shy. She was once told by a guy in high school that she was the ugliest girl he’d ever seen. When she joined FB, she didn’t want to become friends with anyone from high school but got a PM from someone telling her to give them a chance. People change. So she did. A person that she loves today was a guy who bullied her and her brother. He feeds every stray cat in the neighborhood and they talk about the cats and laugh together several times a week.
Mom! Just read this – love this post and proud of you! Love that pic!!