{"id":1826,"date":"2011-02-26T09:00:01","date_gmt":"2011-02-26T14:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/?p=1826"},"modified":"2016-01-17T11:38:12","modified_gmt":"2016-01-17T16:38:12","slug":"memorandum-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/memorandum-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Memorandum – Getting Under Foot"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

TO:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The Cats \u2013 Jazz, Harley, Zee, Zoey, Mia, Peanut and Rolz\u00a0<\/p>\n

FROM:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The Residing Human Tenants\u00a0<\/p>\n

DATE:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 February 26, 2011<\/p>\n

REF:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Getting Under Foot<\/p>\n

Dear Cats:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s your human tenants here (i.e., slaves) who just have the tiniest, itsy bitsy request of a favor from you, if you don\u2019t mind. When we come in from outdoors \u2013 whether it be after a long and grueling day at work, or a quick trip to the grocery store – can you please refrain from standing by, and blocking the other side of the door, waiting for us to open it, rendering it virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get in the house without either worrying about one of you escaping to the outdoors, or stepping on you.<\/p>\n

We do understand\u00a0and aprreciate that you\u00a0are hungry and\u00a0are excited to see us, but\u00a0 we generally have our hands full \u2013 things such as a purse, briefcase, lunchbox, or heavy bags of groceries (yes, including cat food and cat paraphernalia) and it is very difficult to walk in an uninterrupted and safe manner without the possibility of tripping because of you swarming us and walking under foot. Perhaps you could just walk in a safe distance ahead of us, or maybe you could walk to the side of us, or even behind us. It really serves no useful purpose whatsoever having you directly in the path of our feet, unless it is your intent to have one of us trip and fall. We really don\u2019t get to the kitchen any quicker to feed you by this congested traffic pattern of cats. And to be fair, collectively there are seven of you \u2013 that\u2019s twenty-eight paws in total that our four legs have to contend with.<\/p>\n

And since we\u2019re on the subject, if you don\u2019t mind as well, maybe you could NOT walk underfoot first thing in the morning when we wake up. We are already groggy, have had no coffee, and it is dark. Stepping on each and every one of you as we make our way to either the bathroom or kitchen is a bit hazardous. You know we get out of bed every morning at the same time \u2013 how about you just wait for us in the kitchen to feed you instead of getting underfoot and causing us to lose balance as we try to walk? Do you really enjoy having us step on your tail? Your meows of pain would suggest otherwise. It\u2019s just a thought, but how about we try it as an experiment one morning to see how it goes? And really, we don’t want to have to resort to such strong measures, but we will retain a lawyer and file a suit with you if one of us does slip and fall. Since we manage the bookkeeping here and you don’t,\u00a0we know you don’t carry cat liability insurance and could not possibly afford to be sued. Just something to keep in mind…<\/p>\n

Anyhow, we thank you for your time and consideration of this very serious matter. As always, we remain ever steady servants to your every whim and desire and bow to your obvious superiority. We also want to thank you for letting us share space with you in our own home that we pay for. We also continue to gladly pay for your food, vet trips, endless toys, as well as to supply you with unlimited love and to spoil you from sun up to sun down, even while you get underfoot.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Regards,<\/p>\n

Dan and Deb \/ Your Humans<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 TO:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The Cats \u2013 Jazz, Harley, Zee, Zoey, Mia, Peanut and Rolz\u00a0 FROM:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The Residing Human Tenants\u00a0 DATE:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 February 26, 2011 REF:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Getting Under Foot Dear Cats: It\u2019s your human tenants here (i.e., slaves) who just have the tiniest, itsy bitsy request of a favor from you, if you don\u2019t mind. When we come in from […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1098,365,1099],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1826","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cat-behavior","category-cat-humor","category-the-zee-zoey-cats-and-family"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1826","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1826"}],"version-history":[{"count":25,"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1826\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1841,"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1826\/revisions\/1841"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1826"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1826"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zeezoey.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1826"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}